Fly on the Wall March 2015: The Headache Edition

Fly on the WallFly on the Wall is a series of snippets from my life that won’t really make up a whole blog post by themselves, but certainly together make up a fun little bit of reading!  What’s unique about this is that participating bloggers all write their posts and they are put up simultaneously for your reading pleasure.  Except mine, because mine was late (see the next paragraph for an explanation below).  Anyhoo, the links to the other blogs are at the bottom of the post.  Please take some time to visit them all, they are wonderful (and funny) people!

So I took a month off from writing, I can’t say that a lot of interesting things happened…  And seriously my computer crashed when I was writing this.  Blue screen of death!  I panicked big time!  Fortunately after shutting it down and letting it sit for awhile, it seems to be okay.  Anyhoo…

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Look who got an American Girl doll. Yep. She named her Lizzie.

One night I had a dream that I was at work and it snowed only it snowed inside and I was trapped at work because I couldn’t drive my car through the snow inside the BUILDING I WORK IN. I need help. Seriously.  I think I just needed Spring.

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The Professor saw a commercial for what he thinks will be his new favorite thing: Bacon wrapped deep dish pizza.  Ew.

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My evening spent with my husband ended with conversations about how agricultural sprayers would be advantageous in a zombie apocalypse (as opposed to a combine) and how it would feel to be kicked by a kangaroo.

All of that was just in time for Valentine’s Week. We’re so romantic.

My Valentine lovies.  Aren't they cute?

My Valentine lovies. Aren’t they cute?

So The Princess is in that stage where she is losing lots of teeth. Two teeth were lost in a short period of time at our house. This is a lot for a tooth fairy to keep up with.

Lost tooth one went three days without payment. Finally a pink bag with magical confetti hearts and four shiny quarters in it appeared on the fourth day, along with a letter of explanation. Apparently the tooth fairy had a tooth convention in Toothiana Texas.

Lost tooth two also went three days sans money. Finally a dollar miraculously appeared under Mommy’s pillow this morning. We’re thinking the tooth fairy was playing tricks. Or maybe got confused…

I’d like the record to show that the tooth fairy does not have a drinking problem. Also, my daughter is a very light sleeper.

The kids got Beanie Boos.  They're cute but a little creepy with their big eyes.  They love them.

The kids got Beanie Boos. They’re cute but a little creepy with their big eyes. They love them.

After supper I swear I heard my husband said “Great, now I can crap. I’ve been waiting and gathering things all day to do it.”

What he actually said was that he can “craft”. On Guild Wars, the online game that he plays. I’m still not sure which one actually makes more sense to me…

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The Professor:  “What movie is this?”
Evil Genius: “Facing the Giants. Ever seen it?”
The Professor: Maybe I have. Unless I didn’t then I haven’t.

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The Headache Diaries-Facebook entries made by me during the month of the headache:

Hi I’m Sarah, and this is my headache. Maybe I should name it? What is a good name for a headache that won’t go away?
And Coming soon, Headache, the Musical…

Relief…

Evil Genius’s cheesecake: Now with divine healing powers.

I mean, yeah it’s always been heavenly and all, but tonight it made my migraine go away, and that was just the batter!

Eat his cheesecake tomorrow, gain superpowers. It could make a pretty good Friday, huh?

Help…

I give up. I surrender. Please just go away and let me be! You have made me into a completely worthless individual today!

Finally…

Just to share what a super kid I have: In an attempt to combat these terrible headaches I’m having, I quit drinking diet pop. I really gave up caffeine for the most part. I can’t say it’s really helping, but I’m trying. I’ve hardly had any caffeine other than the occasional coke in the last week.

Yesterday was hard because I had to work in the evening. I gave in and gave my son a dollar to run down to Casey’s to get me a can of Coke. He happily complied and it did help.

This morning I got up and came downstairs. He was sitting on the couch with a dollar in his hand. “What’s that for?” I asked him.

“Oh, it’s mine. I thought I’d bring it just in case you need something today mom.”

He’s my favorite today.

In conclusion…

So I am off of caffeine for the most part.  I’m still getting headaches, but not as bad.  So we’ll see.

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Graceful thing that I am, I dropped and broke my glasses.  Fortunately it was time to make an appointment anyway.  I got the indestructable flexon glasses, and they are PURPLE!!!!!

New glasses!

New glasses!

I just watched my cat flip a vhs tape across the floor and proceed to attack it… That’s right, make sure it’s dead.

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Newsflash: Frozen hashbrowns are not a ready to eat food (says on the package).

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The following is me online trying to find a new weight workout now that I’m running. Keep in mind I’m not a beginner, I’ve been lifting for many years:

Oh… I don’t want to watch a video…
That girl looks too happy, I can’t do that workout. Seriously, she’s enjoying that swiss ball waaaaay too much.
Our gym doesn’t have kettlebells.
I really don’t care what Reese Witherspoon does, thank you.
Last time I checked I’m not a man.

Yeah, still haven’t found a new workout…

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Evil Genius:  “How much snow do we have? 3 inches under the dog. Is that a standard measuring system?”

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Bad things to use as a bookmark for your library book #6: Your birth certificate.  True story… Not me, fortunately, but some other poor soul that is probably wondering where it went.  I sent it back to the library it came from.

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So upcoming things… The Professor starts baseball on Sunday.  This will be interesting for him, having to deal with other people in a team situation.  I may drink a lot the next two months.

In the next few months I will be running three 5Ks and a half marathon.  Am I crazy?  Pretty much.  I’m finally starting to see results.  Next month may very well be the running edition!

Now… don’t run away, check out these amazing people below.  You know you wanna…(My apologies to Karen, I really didn’t want to be late with this.  I still love you and will be ON TIME next month!  XOXO)

 http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                   Battered Hope

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                  Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                        The Momisodes

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                            Someone Else’s Genius

http://dinoheromommy.com/                            Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://gndisney.wordpress.com                                Disneyland in Kentucky

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                            Juicebox Confession

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                      Searching for Sanity

http://www.gomamao.com                                      Go Mama O

January 2015 Fly on the Wall: The Naked Firefighting Edition

Fly on the WallWelcome to this month’s Fly on the Wall.  This is the edition that really should be entitled Sarah No Longer Knows How to Use WordPress Because They Changed Things and That Makes Her Sad.  I already had a headache.  This did not help.

Fly on the Wall is a compilation of random snippets from daily life that aren’t really enough to make a whole blog post on their own. Participating bloggers all post these simultaneously so you get more bang for your buck, or something like that.  Check the links down at the bottom of this post for many more glimpses into other people’s lives!

So here’s what went on this month…

So we celebrated Christmas in the usual way.  There were presents and a big dinner.  The kids spent most of the day playing with their loot.

Then, the day after Christmas my husband put out a fire naked, because that’s how things go in our house.

That’s right.  Put out a fire.  Naked.

Apparently when you don’t get bits of potato that bubble over out of an already overfilled pan, and they get down into your oven, they catch on fire when you try to preheat your oven for pizza.

It was a bit smoky, and I went to check to see what it was all about, and there were flames shooting up out of the bottom of the oven.

So naturally I yell to my husband.  “The oven is on fire!” thinking that he is out of the shower.

But instead he was still in, and came running out to put out the fire.  Naked.  And wet.

Needless to say, the fire got put out, we had Taco Bell for supper, and my husband now has another story to tell that either makes people laugh or makes them uncomfortable.

His mother had to ask the question:  “Why didn’t you stop and put something on?”

Evil Genius:  “That’s the difference between you and me.  You stop to put on clothes, you burn up in a fire.  I get things done.”

(Needless to say, I did not post any pictures of this event.)

So that was the highlight of our Christmas Break, what was yours?

10903965_10202806013100840_4904101491691211625_oWe let The Professor watch Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, because he loves historical stuff.  That counts, right?  The Princess wasn’t nearly as interested, though she had to pipe up after the whole “69 Dudes!” part:  “Wow, 69 must be their lucky number!”  Yes honey, that’s right.

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Our New Year was the Cheeseball New Year.  I was sent out to buy multiple packages of cream cheese so that Evil Genius and The Princess could make all kinds of cheeseballs.  They ended making a pizza one, a Hawaiian one, and a Honey Dijon one.  I liked the Hawaiian one-it had ham and pineapple in it, among others.  I really do think that by the end of the break, Evil Genius and the kids were officially sick of eating that kind of food!

Cheeseball.  Pizza Cheeseball.

Cheeseball. Pizza Cheeseball.

Evil Genius and the kids were watching a show about a potato chip factory. They were mesmerized. The Professor decided that this would be his future workplace, even after I informed him that you don’t get to eat chips while you work.

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Mmmmmmm… Minecraft…

Hawaiian Punch and a printable Creeper picture taped to it generated more excitement than anything else in this house.  Who'd have thought that would happen?

Hawaiian Punch and a printable Creeper picture taped to it generated more excitement than anything else in this house. Who’d have thought that would happen?

The Professor’s tenth birthday was this January.  We did everything Minecraft.  From the cake to the homemade decorations.  Everything.  Minecraft.  Who knew that downloaded a bunch of stuff from the internet and making all your own everything would be such a hit!  The kids are still talking about it.  Mom wins.

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Last Saturday ESPN Gameday came to Iowa State.  Evil Genius and the kids were there!  They both made a sign.

The Princess’s sign was extra sparkly.

10683536_10204047277119139_4844515838338383969_oThe Professor?  Not so much a fan of sparkles.

10926329_10204047277159140_6143067923615902243_oTo balance everything out, after Gameday Evil Genius went over to the Comic Book Store and competed in his first Magic Tournament.  Nerd.

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I’m currently at the end of Week 6 in my Couch to 5K Training.  I haven’t died yet.  I have two weeks left, and I’m actually running.  What’s next you say?  A run in the cold on the first Saturday in February.  Two more 5Ks in warmer weather as I’m doing the 5K to 10K program.  Then Dam to Dam at the end of May, which is a half marathon.  Yes.  That’s when I’ll die.  It’s been nice knowing you all.

Coming soon, I’ll be published in another anthology.  I know, what’s up with that????  I’ll have details ASAP!

So that was our month.  How was yours?  What are other bloggers doing?  Check it out belowwwwwwww….

 http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                   Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.JuiceboxConfession.com                    Juicebox Confession

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                              Battered Hope

http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/          Eileen’s Perpetually Busy

http://www.gomamao.com                                  Go Mama O

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                       Someone Else’s Genius

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                             Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                       The Momisodes

December 2014 Fly on the Wall: The Extra Bearded Edition

Fly on the WallWelcome to the December edition of the Fly on the Wall.  If you haven’t been here before, here’s a simple explanation:  These are snippets of life from my house.  I am simultaneously posting these snippets along with other participating bloggers.  Please, please, pretty please stop by the links of the other participants at the bottom of the post or you may find reindeer poop in your stocking!!!!!

We last left our superheroes starting to get ready for Thanksgiving dinner… We hosted Thanksgiving again this year.  We had Evil Genius’s now traditional turkey in a bucket and the not so traditional turkey made of cheese, sausage, and crackers…

10620237_10203670796387356_8976289056525414897_oWords uttered the week of Thanksgiving:  “It’s Tuesday. Do you know where your turkey bucket is?”

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My parents came up for Thanksgiving. Can you tell who the dog was most taken with?

Conversations held on Thanksgiving in our house:

Me to the Professor: “Are your pants on inside out?”
The Professor: “Oh.” Looks down at his pants, inspects them for a bit. “I guess they are” (Goes right back to watching tv).
Evil Genius: “Go fix them please!”

Tell me, what is wrong with this picture?

Tell me, what is wrong with this picture?

Now we are busy prepping for Christmas here at the house of nuts Almond.

There was Christmas shopping.  He bought himself an early present.  He's so good to him.

There was Christmas shopping. He bought himself an early present. He’s so good to him.

Here are the roles currently assumed by the people who occupy this place:

The Princess:  Craft Nazi
The Professor:  Christmas Expert
Evil Genius:  Evil Baker and Evil Chef
Me:  Space Occupier

The craft Nazi busy at work.  She wants to do crafts every second of every day!

The craft Nazi busy at work. She wants to do crafts every second of every day!

Me to The Princess: What are you going to make for Christmas gifts this year?
Princess: I don’t know.
Me (thinking I’m very smart and clever): Should we look on the internet for some ideas?
Princess: SURE!

I pull out my laptop and stupidly google “homemade gifts kids can make”. At search result #1, she gasps. At result #2 she squees… At result #154 she’s still ooing and ahhing.

An hour later, it’s quite apparent that she wants to make ALL the presents.
“All” as in every.single.craft on the internet. Be ready, people, be ready for all the crafts!

Evil Genius gets back from the ISU game to see me frantically trying to paint The Princess’s nails because it was bedtime and we had almost run out of time to do it.

Evil Genius: “I thought Moms enjoyed doing that with their daughters?”
Me: *Angry glare as I manage to paint my thumb holiday red*

Christmas nails.

Christmas nails.

Princess: Daddy what’s in these enchiladas?
Evil Genius: Chicken, sour cream, cheese, cumin-
Princess: Ew, HUMAN????
Evil Genius: No, CUMIN!

Rest assured that all of the cooking the Evil Genius does is 100% human free!

One thing that has recently come out of the Evil Genius's kitchen: Chocolate Peanut Butter trees!  (Yes they washed their hands but apparently not their faces!)

One thing that has recently come out of the Evil Genius’s kitchen: Chocolate Peanut Butter trees! (Yes they washed their hands but apparently not their faces!)

Speaking of holidays, today marks a special day.  After a few months of growth, my husband will finally be allowed to shave his beard.  They were not allowed to even trim them lest pay the fine of $100!  The picture below is almost three weeks old, so his beard is much scragglier even now.  There will be a lot of happy wives this weekend.  I hope to get a before and after picture that I can share!

He looks annoyed, but he loves it when she cuddles with him, because at least she's warm!

He looks annoyed, but he loves it when she cuddles with him, because at least she’s warm!

That’s all I’ve got.  Have a Happy Holiday!  And be sure to check out the links down below this picture of Christmas cuties or they just might very well tell Santa on you!

IMG_3288This month’s Fly Participants.  Give them a round of buzzzzzzzzzzzz…

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                 Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                            Battered Hope

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                 Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.JuiceboxConfession.com                    Juicebox Confession

http://www.risanye.com                                     Risa Nye

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com               The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

http://www.clutteredgenius.com                          Cluttered Genius

 

November 2014 Fly on the Wall: The Extremely Random Edition

Fly on the WallFor those of you that read this monthly, you know what this post is all about…

For those of you that might be first-timers, let me explain what this is.  Fly on the Wall is a collection of snippets from everyday life that by themselves wouldn’t make a whole post.  Participating bloggers all post simultaneously, because the more the merrier!  You not only get to read my randomness, but other people’s fun as well.  Stay tuned at the bottom of this post for links to other Fly on the Wall posts.

Let’s face it, my life is a bunch of random snippets, folks.  Without further ado, let me present the mostly adult quotes I’ve collected this month.  It’s not that my children aren’t funny these days, it’s just that the adults have had more unusual things to say lately.

But first we have the mandatory Halloween photo:

Princess Hello Kitty and Minecraft’s Super Steve. A lot of swearing went into making that Steve head.

Me: “Thanks for the kiss before you left this morning”
Evil Genius: “I gave you a kiss before I left?”
Me: “Yes”
Evil Genius: “Are you sure it was me?”
Me: “Who else would it be?”
Evil Genius: “I don’t know, but that doesn’t sound like me at all.”

Me: “Oh forget it! Just go back to your own little world over there!”
Evil Genius: “You have it wrong. It’s a big world, just very low population density!”

 Jack-o-Lantern Pizza.  Apparently it's a tradition now.

Jack-o-Lantern Pizza. Apparently it’s a tradition now.

Evil Genius: (spitting into the sink) “I don’t know where all that hair in my mouth came from”
Me: “Maybe your beard is growing inward.”
Evil Genius: “Really? Are you telling me I have an In-grown beard?”

The kids desperately wanted to carve a pumpkin.  Or rather, they wanted someone ELSE to carve it.  Nonsense-dad put them to work pulling out the guts.

The kids desperately wanted to carve a pumpkin. Or rather, they wanted someone ELSE to carve it. Nonsense-dad put them to work pulling out the guts.

Evil Genius’s female coworker: “Men sometimes don’t get the non verbal communication.”
Evil Genius: “No no, we get it! We just choose to ignore it.”

We had just finished watching the movie Chef.
Evil Genius: “What was that movie about?”
Me: “It was about the relationship between him and his son.  It was like Real Steel, only without giant robots.”

The Professor ran his first official 5K with dad. He ran all but about ten blocks of it!

While the Professor had a pretty good time of it, I did not.  A couple of blocks in I slipped on loose gravel and fell hard, skidding across the pavement.  I got back up and kept going, but ended up finishing fourth from the end.  I discovered later that I’d taken all the skin off of one knee and was bleeding.  Not my best moment-since then I’ve tried to get back into things.  I just downloaded the Couch to 5K app and hope to start on that next week.  We shall see!

So I went back red.  It's hard to tell just how red in this picture, but I assure you it's very pretty.

So I went back red. It’s hard to tell just how red in this picture, but I assure you it’s very pretty.

Things overheard in my house recently:

“VETO! No one is duct taping anyone!”

“My eyes hurt having heard that.”

“Never season angry!”

“Will you get that pizza off your head?”

“I have not yet lost my superpower, my ability to determine obscure roles by actors you’ve never heard of.”

I went to the doctor this past month and she was completely honest with me.  She told me I was seriously depressed.  I’m working on getting better, but unfortunately I have a long way to go.  I have several posts just gathering dust in my inbox as I try to put the right words in them so that they can be published.  Anything coming out of this brain these days isn’t exactly publish-worthy material-so I hope you enjoyed this post.

So getting through one day at a time.  An Iron Man shirt makes every day better though.

So getting through one day at a time. An Iron Man shirt makes every day better though.

But hey, forget about me and my issues-go check out the buzz in these other blogger’s abodes:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://www.therowdybaker.com                                  The Rowdy Baker

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                 Battered Hope

http://dinoheromommy.com/                         Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                   Someone Else’s Genius 

http://www.crumpetsandbollocks.com                     Crumpets and Bollocks

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                          Juicebox Confession

http://www.risanye.com                                              Risa Nye

http://www.gomamao.com                                    Go Mamma O

October Fly on the Wall: The Too Many Pictures Edition

Fly on the WallSo you think you wanna be a fly on my wall?  You want to know what goes on in my house?  Read on… then be sure to click on some of the blogs at the bottom of the post.  They need love too!  That’s because we all compiled these nice little snippets of our lives into posts and are sharing them simultaneously to give you the ultimate fly experience. It will be like traveling all over the world except different.  And less expensive.  Certainly less expensive.

So one or two of you might recall my epic screw-up last month when I discovered that it was Fly on the Wall week too close to fake it.  Damn it.  Normally I’d stay up all night and finish it but that wasn’t happening this time.

And so thrilled about getting his picture taken.

As you can see my husband so thrilled about getting his picture taken.

You see, the Friday of last Fly on the Wall my husband and I were about to embark upon the celebration of our 15th wedding anniversary.  We got to stay overnight without children and got to eat really good food.  It was a good night!  So I apologize for the lack of fun (for you) as I got to have all the fun to myself (for me).

I also discovered a possible career that night.  Think Blogger Vs Fried Ice Cream?

I have decided to make it my life's work to travel to different Mexican restaurants around the world, trying to see which one has the best fried ice cream.  This one was pretty good.

I have decided to make it my life’s work to travel to different Mexican restaurants around the world, trying to see which one has the best fried ice cream. This one was pretty good.

We’ve also had a lot of other things going on this last couple of months…

New school year, new teachers…

Both kids are obviously back in school.

What a great idea, and extra ammunition for this little ham. Naturally the Professor demanded to know where his picture was. Sigh…

They are doing pretty well thus far.

test

Yep. She can read.

We’ve also had sports, as in the Professor started flag football and Evil Genius was his coach… Because I’m terrified of being sued for using the only good picture of The Professor in football which happened to be the one taken by the professional, here is a picture of The Princess at the football game instead…

The Princess at The Professor's football game: Wow it's chilly out here." Reaches into her bag. "It's a good thing I brought slippers to keep my hands warm!" Weirdo

The Princess at The Professor’s football game: Wow it’s chilly out here.” Reaches into her bag. “It’s a good thing I brought slippers to keep my hands warm!” Weirdo

The Princess started Girl Scouts this month. You know what that means, right?  Her father is actually quite addicted to Thin Mints.  Think I’m kidding?  I’m not.  It’s going to be like having a live in crack dealer come Spring.

Thank goodness she doesn’t sell this stuff… this would get me in trouble.

I got addicted to something new.

I got addicted to something new.  Mmmmmm.

The Princess spends a lot of time arguing with Daddy these days:

The Princess: “When I grow up, I’m going to be a princess!”
Evil Genius (jokingly):  “You’ll never be a princess. And if you are, I’ll burn your kingdom to the ground.”
The Princess (Not joking): “You’ll be dead by then!”

We a little tailgating recently:

Betcha can't tell what team we're rooting for.

Betcha can’t tell what team we’re rooting for.

I’ve spent a lot of time up late planning things.  Then I start thinking (I really need to stop doing that):

What I think of at 11:30 at night-How do stormtroopers go to the bathroom? I would think that wouldn’t be a good career choice for yours truly seeing as being able to pee quickly is very important to me.

Speaking of stormtroopers…

My children for Star Wars Reads Day.  1)  Princess Leia's braids are a family traditon-every photo of her mother at that age has braids just like hers, half in and half out! 2)  Yoda refused to let me finish the ears because he wanted to wear them so badly...

My children at Star Wars Reads Day.  Important things to note- 1) Princess Leia’s braids are a family tradition-every photo of her mother at that age has braids just like hers, half in and half out! 2) Yoda refused to let me finish the ears because he wanted to wear them so badly…

There’s been LOTS of work stuff, which is why I’m insane and have mashed potato brains:

I find it fascinating how much the Professor recalls for someone who barely seems to be paying attention most of the time!  Every program we have at the library he is quite the font of wisdom.  For example, he knew all about jousting when many other kids had no clue.  Guess I’m doing something right?

I'd like to say he was being knighted, but this gentleman was trying to prove a point of how armor protects your head!

I’d like to say he was being knighted, but this gentleman was trying to prove a point of how armor protects your head using The Professor as an example!

And we’ve generally been having fun…

When it's "Girls Night", that means that you watch girl movies, and you get to hold the baby unicorn and mommy gets to hold the mommy unicorn.  True story.

When it’s “Girls Night”, that means that you watch girl movies, and you get to hold the baby unicorn and mommy gets to hold the mommy unicorn. True story.

Well more often than not.  This was my Facebook status earlier this month:
Windows 8 should come with chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. *sob*
There’s also that whole writing thing, which reminds me…  I’m in a book.  Me and a bunch of other lovely bloggers.  Really!  I wouldn’t lie to you about this…
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Believe it or not, someone let me be in a book. They’ll learn… Go to Amazon to find out all the juicy details of how to get your mitts on this book!

Now don’t run away just yet.  Click on these blogs for more shenanigans…

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://www.therowdybaker.com                                  The Rowdy Baker

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                 Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                             Battered Hope

http://dinoheromommy.com/                         Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                 Someone Else’s Genius

http://www.crumpetsandbollocks.com               Crumpets and Bollocks

Fly on the Wall September 2014: The Stupidity Edition

Fly on the WallTwo weeks ago I got an email reminding me about the Fly on the Wall just like I get every month.

I sent a reply to Karen letting her know that I had received the email and knew that it was coming up.

I had a busy week.  An insanely busy week.  Like an I wasn’t even here type of week.

And then I thought it was next Friday, not this Friday.  Why?  I know how to check a calendar.  I know how to read.  But my brain failed me.

Stupid brain.

Normally I would stay up and write and write and write until it was done, even if it meant staying up all night.  But this weekend my mother is coming to watch our children so that my husband and I can go out and celebrate 15 years of marriage.  I need my sleep, even though at this point it will not be much sleep.

So instead of subjecting you to a poorly written last minute post, I will direct you to visit these wonderful bloggers so that you can see what it’s like to be a fly on the wall in their houses. PLEASE go check them out and let them know just how wonderful they are.  :-)

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                           Baking In A Tornado

http://www.therowdybaker.com                                The Rowdy Baker

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                         The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                       Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home . . .

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                  Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                             Menopausal Mother

http://www.gomamao.com                                        Go Momma O

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                     Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                           Juicebox Confession

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                         Someone Else’s Genius

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                               Battered Hope

Beneath the Clearance Rack: A Tale of Unresolved Writer’s Block

Use Your WordsDid you know that every month you can be a part of something truly unique?  Karen of Baking in a Tornado regularly allows me to participate in the various writing challenges that she hosts and doesn’t tell me to hit the road.  At least she hasn’t yet.  If she’ll let me do it, by golly she’ll let anyone in. 

Use Your Words is one such challenge where participating bloggers provide four to six words or phrases.  These are then assigned to another blogger who can then tear his or her hair out trying to figure out how to use them in a coherent post.  These posts are simultaneously published at the same time so that you, the reader, can take in their amazingness like smelling apple pie right out of the oven.  I’m also tired and haven’t slept so I am using analogies very poorly.

That’s right.  It ain’t easy.  But yet I keep coming back every month…

This month my words were big ~ fast ~ ink ~ teddy bear ~Rumpelstiltskin ~ fart.  Oh that’s right.  One of my words was fart.  And I used it correctly in a sentence.

They were submitted by: http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com

Can't.Write.Anything.

Can’t.Write.Anything.  Nope.  Not a thing.

Once upon a time in a land not so far away there was a problem.  Not just a big problem, but a huge, gigantic enormous problem.

No matter how fast she scribbled, no matter how fast she typed,  the writer could not get the words to come out right.

She tried different kinds of ink, she tried different kinds of paper.  She even tried drinking different kinds of alcohol. No matter what she did her writing was all in vain.

She spent her nights sobbing, clutching her teddy bear, and drinking copious amounts of caffeine, hoping and praying that the words would somehow return.

“Why, why me?  Why must I be a victim of this horrible brain constipation?  Could I at least be lucky enough to have one giant word fart to relieve myself?”

All at once there was a deafening noise and a little man appeared on her keyboard.

“Who are you, Rumplestiltskin?”

Apparently this angered the little man so much he punched her in the nose and disappeared.

Later on that same evening after a binge of pretzels and various caffeinated beverages another person appeared to her.  This time she decided to keep her mouth shut, which was fine because it was actually full of pretzels.

“Follow the light.  You know the one. The red and white light in a perfect circle.  This holds the key to all that you know or think you know.”

(And she may or may not have been watching Willow earlier that evening.)

So she got in her car and went to Target.

So yeah.  Target holds all of life's secrets.

So yeah. Target holds all of life’s secrets.

The writer may not have found the words she was looking for.  But she did find underwear for $1.74, chocolate for 30% off, and a package of brightly colored lined paper which she never did use.  But that’s ok, because it was on clearance.

The moral of the story is that you may not be able to find the words you’re looking for, but you can certainly find something that you’re not looking for.  Just go to Target.  You’ll see.

This post has been brought to you by a severe case of writer’s block brought on by severe insomnia, too many pretzels, and perhaps one too many trips to Target in one week.  But you can also read posts by people who can actually produce coherent sentences when they try to write a blog post by clicking on one of the links below.

Seriously.  You just gonna sit there or are you going to click on one or two or all of those links?  Sheesh.  And I thought I procrastinated…

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                              Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                     Stacy Sews and Schools

http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com/                                   Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com                       Evil Joy Speaks 

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                            Someone Else’s Genius

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/        Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                            Follow me home . . .

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com               The Bergham’s Life Chronicles   

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                Battered Hope   

Twisted Mixtape Tuesday: The Soundtrack of My Summer 2014

twisted mixtape tuesdayWelcome to the return of Twisted Mixtape Tuesday.  Aren’t you excited?  I am! 

What is Twisted Mixtape Tuesday?  It’s a once a month opportunity to share the songs you love according to the chosen theme!  This week’s theme is the Soundtrack of Your Summer. When you’re done with my post, be sure to hop over to the link up on My Skewed View!

So what did I listen to this summer?  A quick look at my most played songs painted the picture pretty clearly.

This first one?  Because awesome!!!!

Happy-Pharrell Williams

The next one is just one of several other songs I’ve listened to constantly from the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack.

Spirit in the Sky-Norman Greenbaum 

Another sky related song that is wildly catchy…

Sky Full of Stars-Coldplay

I don’t know why but I’ve been totally stuck on this next song all summer.  Lady Antebellum is one of my favorite crossover groups.  This is the most played, but there are many other songs by this group that I listen to on a playlist pretty regularly.

Just A Kiss-Lady Antebellum

The last one is an oldie but a goodie.  At least compared to the others.  Fun.

I’m A Believer-Smash Mouth

What songs have been the soundtrack of your summer?  Let me know in the comments, or better yet, make your own post and share by linking it up at My Skewed View!

The ABCs of Geekery

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I see the world through different eyes than other people do. Like this sign. I so totally would have thought this.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I live in a geek world. I admit that on here on a regular basis.  My husband is a geek, and my kids are geeks.  I live in a small town where geekery is in short supply, so you can say that I don’t exactly have a lot of people I can talk to.

Working in a library, I must say that I have found a few more kindred spirits.  I still get a lot of strange looks when I’m ask to recommend books and I gush over Tolkien and Rick Riordan.  But at least there are a few like minded teens that wholeheartedly embrace their geekiness right along with me.

That’s right, I live in my own little world much of the time, and I like it there.

Several writer friends and I decided to do a little exercise to get the creativity flowing.  Each of us wrote an ABCs of something that we consider ourselves quite familiar with.  I chose geekery, because, well, why not?

As it turns out, this post was much harder to write than I thought, because so many of the things I wanted to write about started with the same letter.  So I had to make choices.  And decision making is NOT my strong suit…

Yep, even as a kid I was a pretty big geek.

I’m Princess Leia, my sis is an Ewok. My lightsaber ruled.

Avengers-The movie responsible for bringing me out of my geek closet that I had retreated to when I became an adult.  We’ve seen it more times than I can count.  When there’s nothing on tv, one of two movies goes in the blu-ray player, Avengers or Iron Man 2.

Big Bang Theory-Thanks to this show, geeks are almost cool.  And I would totally hang out with Sheldon Cooper. Oh wait, I do, because my son is totally Sheldon.

Comic Book Store-I am very fortunate to have a wonderful comic book store right close by.  They have pretty much everything a geek could ever want!  We spend a fair amount of time there, even though I myself don’t purchase the comics like the kids (and husband) do, it’s still fun to look!

No.

No.  I want one that is fully functional.

Death Star-I want my own Death Star.  I do.  So I can go destroy things that make me unhappy.  It wouldn’t be actual size.  I could keep it in the garage.

Elves-I had to put something in here related to Tolkien.  This has nothing to do with Keebler elves, though I do like to eat their cookies.

Fan Fiction-Remember the books that were based on the Star Trek series that would tell other stories starring the characters?  I used to read them voraciously.  Now I think the equivalent would be fan fiction.

I never thought I'd love a tree so much until I saw this movie.

I never thought I’d love a tree so much until I saw this movie.

Guardians of the Galaxy-I had a hard time with this letter, so I finally picked this movie.  I didn’t think I was going to like it.  This is the latest Marvel movie to come out, and it is great.  Still not quite on par with Avengers or Captain America: Winter Soldier, but it is definitely worth seeing in the theater.  And it has a great soundtrack too!  G is also for Groot, whom I guarantee you will totally fall in love with when you see this movie.

Heinlein-When I was in grammar school, yes that’s what they call it in rural Maine, my mother was the librarian.  I discovered some wonderful things spending so much time in the library.  While other girls were reading Sweet Valley High books, I was reading Heinlein.  And Alan Dean Foster.  And Brian Daley.

So if I can't have the Death Star, can I just have Iron Man?

So if I can’t have the Death Star, can I just have Iron Man?

Iron Man-Because it’s Iron Man.  And Robert Downey Jr. is Iron Man.  That is all.

John Williams and James Horner-I got involved with music because of these guys.  In case you don’t know, they are both composers who did the scores for, well, scores of geek movies.

Klingon-I have never gone to a Star Trek convention.  I think it would be great fun.  And I would love to dress up as a Klingon.  Really!  Because who wouldn’t have fun with that?

Libraries-Still the ultimate geek haven.  It’s changed a lot in the past few years.  A lot of geeks come to not only check out their favorite books, but also play games on the computers and play Magic with their friends.

Avengers Magic Mike

So much to see in the movies these days… Thank you Marvel.

Marvel Cinematic Universe-Thank you Marvel for making superhero movies fun again. I’m not saying I dislike the dark gritty Dark Knight movies, I’d just rather be laughing.

Nerds-Now they don’t make QUITE so much fun of us…

Optimus Prime-While I’m not a huge Transformers fan, I must add this for my husband’s sake.

I never get tired of this picture.  Never.

I never get tired of this picture. Never.

Physics-Because where would we geeks be without physics? Truth be told I barely passed Physics in high school.  But my husband took Quantum Physics for fun in college.  Science people…

Q-The best villain in the Star Trek universe.  Sorry Khan.

Role playing-Now get your mind out of the gutter!  That’s not what I’m talking about!  I’m talking about Dungeons and Dragons and Star Wars and superhero type stuff.  You get to pretend to be a character you like.  As a kid I role played Star Wars by mail.  Now it’s all technological and stuff.  Maybe it was a good thing I didn’t have the options available today as a kid.

We like Star Wars a little bit around here. Just a little.  Not much at all.

We like Star Wars a little bit around here. Just a little. Not much at all.

Star Wars and Star Trek-A friend of mine (you know who you are) insists that if you like one you cannot like the other.  I call that theory complete BS.  I find both incredibly awesome, and for totally different reasons.  I love the story of the Star Wars universe even if I haven’t been totally enamored with the newer movies.  I grew up on it.  I saw Star Wars for the first time at the drive-in my preschool years and have been in love with it ever since.  Star Trek is the reason why I can never really say I’m bored, when all I have to do is find an episode of one of the series to watch.  Or pop in one of the many movies-we own them all except for Into Darkness.

Time Travel-Back to the Future style, of course.  Still one of my all time favorite movies!

Underoos-I had C3PO underoos as a kid.  Now my kids have superhero underoos!  If that doesn’t scream geek I don’t know what does.  I kind of wish I still had some.

Villains-I love a good villain.  Ian McKellen’s Magneto is probably still my all time favorite villain.  Q, Darth Vader, Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman), The Borg Queen, Ivan Vanko, I could sit and name the ones I love for hours.  I especially love complicated villains, and the stories behind why they went bad.  In some cases, very, very bad.  In other cases, not so much.

It's the best website on the internets.  Nothing but Wil Wheaton's face photoshopped onto everything imaginable.

It’s the best website on the internets. Nothing but Wil Wheaton’s face photoshopped onto everything imaginable.  http://photoshopwilwheaton.tumblr.com/

Wil Wheaton- This guy is everywhere.  He is on every form of social media there is.  I think I follow him on every platform possible.  Why?  Because he is the ultimate geek.  He speaks to us geek folk in our language.  For the layperson, Wil played Wesley Crusher on Star Trek:The Next Generation.  He was the kid.  I had a poster of him in my bedroom, because I was a closet teenaged geek.  Now I probably look like I stalk the guy, but I don’t care. He’s our spokesperson.

X-Men-Because X is a hard letter.  I like X-Men.  And I wasn’t about to put Xbox, because Skyrim.

Yar’s Revenge-At one time I was one of those video game freaks, I had an Atari.  Then they got hard and complicated.  Now I play Tetris and that’s about it.  My husband is the major player in the house.

Remember this?

Remember this?

Zork-Only one of the coolest games ever made.  Do you remember Zork?  It was a game with no graphics, no visuals, nothing but words telling you what to do next.  This was something we did at school on those very first computers that we ever had in a lab.  This was even before Oregon Trail.  It.was.awesome.  Awhile back I had a copy of the game fall into my possession and was so very sad that I couldn’t get it to work on my computer.

Now I was a little late to the party, thanks to a really busy week and little inspiration to finish this, but there is a link up if you’d like to link up your very own ABC post of anything that you feel that you’re a bit of an expert in.

Selfies at the races.  Not sure who the guy is.

See my Captain America t-shirt?  I’m so proud I own one.  I just bought a sweatshirt too.  I’m not really obsessed with the Captain, I just have a really hard time finding Iron Man stuff I like.  ;-)

August Fly on the Wall: Bob’s Lubed Bamboo Edition

Fly on the WallIf you tell your Iphone “A whop bop-a-lu a whop bam boom” it will translate it as “What Bob lube up a lot bamboo.”

Confused? I was trying out the talk to text function in the Notes to try to help preserve all those precious quotes for future Fly on the Wall posts. And it was funny.

Yes that’s right people, it’s fly time again.  Did you know that I spend quite a bit of time each month preparing for this moment? 

But Sarah, what exactly is Fly on the Wall?  And how will it make my life deeper and more meaningful?

Glad you asked, random anonymous person who kind of sounds like me.  Fly on the Wall is a post putting together many of the random things that are said or done around the house that on their own wouldn’t make up a post on their own.  Eleven bloggers all publish their posts at the same time with links to all the participating people so that you will get to take in all of their awesomeness in the SAME TIME PERIOD. 

Hot damn.  So make sure you check out some of the links at the bottom of this post.

As far as making your life deeper and more meaningful?  I’m not so sure about that happening.  But you will laugh…

This picture from the State Fair makes me laugh every time I see it.

This picture from the State Fair makes me laugh every time I see it.

The kids are playing legos in the next room.
The Princess: Wait! My lego guy says to wait!
The Professor: Ok, what’s his name?
The Princess: His name is Rotisserie.
(I suppose that’s better than Victoria Secret.)

The Professor:  “These shorts make me better. I’m like Ezra 2.0.”

My Facebook status a little more than halfway through our week of vacation:  So a week of vacation thus far: Sunday we took a trip to the zoo, yesterday we bought American cheese and cat litter, and tomorrow my husband gets an oil change. Bet you’re so jealous.

The Professor, upon hearing about Pigs in Space:  This pigs in space, is that an angry birds thing?

My children are deprived.  They had never had cotton candy before!

My children are deprived. They had never had cotton candy before!

We went to the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha.  The most interesting animal name we saw was a Screaming Hairy Armadillo.  No I did not take a picture, because it was dark and I couldn’t see it. Couldn’t hear it either.

I don’t have a bucket list, I have a Dixie cup list.

A good app to invent for those long car rides:  A where’s the next potty app, so we how long we have to wait until we can stop and pee at an actual restroom.  Somebody get on that, will ya?

Perhaps you saw my husband and I out on a date at the Piggly Wiggly?  Apparently we also brought Scott and Pa.

Perhaps you saw my husband and I out on a date at the Piggly Wiggly? Apparently we also brought Scott and Pa.

Recently we decided to do something that normal people do for a change and watch Game of Thrones.  Since we have it at the library we have rented it and have been watching it as we can.  It’s pretty good, though I can do without the very graphic killings and whatnot (unless you live in a box, you know what I mean by the whatnot). I literally sit and watch it, ready to turn my head at a moment’s notice so I don’t see heads being sliced off/throats being cut/etc.  Here are some things that have been uttered or typed on Facebook chat while watching Game of Thrones in our living room:

“I have to get off here now and go watch all the sex.  Evil Genius just put Game of Thrones in.”

“I wonder if they have breast auditions.”

“This is going to end badly.”

“Hey look, it’s John Oates.”

I really have to get off of Facebook while I’m watching this, because so far I keep seeing “Everybody diiiiiiiiessssss!”

(Maybe this is where Bob’s lubed bamboo fits in?)

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Look! A four leaf clover!

After arguing with my kids about the fact that they NEED to go outside and then MAKING them go outside for a bit, the thing that irks me is this: I wish someone would make ME go play outside while they do all my chores.

The Princess:  “Mommy, look, the Science Center has a MOAT!”  Hmmm, must be to keep unwanted science out?

Evil Genius:  “I’ll take a triple shot soy vanilla latte.  That’s right, that’s a man’s coffee.”

The Professor:  “These sunglasses make me look like a man.”

Played slow pitch softball for the first time ever.  My kids were the ones on the bleachers, biting each other on the butt.  Just in case you were wondering.

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The first day of school. Adorable. Especially when they aren’t biting each other on the butt.

Now don’t forget-go visit my other friends (yes I have those.)

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://www.therowdybaker.com                                  The Rowdy Baker

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                            Follow me home . . .

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                   Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                                Menopausal Mother

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                          Someone Else’s Genius

http://www.gomamao.com                                          Go Mamma O