Fly on the Wall June 2015: The Fried Ice Cream Edition

Fly on the Wall

That’s right, it’s that time of the month again… it’s Fly on the Wall!

Fly on the Wall is a monthly slice of awesomeness.  Participating bloggers share little snippets from their month all squished together into one post for your enjoyment, then put them up ALL AT THE SAME TIME JUST FOR YOU TO LOVE!

What’s not to like about that?

The cat doesn't care about Fly on the Wall...

The cat doesn’t care about Fly on the Wall…

So where have I been?  Last month I apparently spaced off telling Karen I wanted to do this so I didn’t make it onto the list.  I wasn’t hiding and I certainly wasn’t dead… I just forgot.  Me?  Forget?  That NEVER happens!

We had lots of birthdays since the last time you heard from me…First Evil Genius turned the big 4-0.  His request was Mountain Dew cupcakes.  Get cake mix, add Mountain Dew, what could possibly go wrong, right????

ADD people trying to follow modified directions?  HA!  The first batch turned out like water.  I soon figured out that you had to put the Mountain Dew IN PLACE of all the liquid in the cake mix. Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

So not beautiful... but he seemed to like them.

So not beautiful… but he seemed to like them.

Birthday #2-mine.  I turned 41.  It was uneventful.

Yes... fried ice cream.  All the fried ice cream...

Yes… fried ice cream. All the fried ice cream…

Then last but certainly not least was The Princess’s birthday.  She also wanted to go out for fried ice cream because that’s what Mommy did.  She got to wear a sombrero (I had declined the sombrero for personal reasons.)

We like fried ice cream a lot, can you tell?

We like fried ice cream a lot, can you tell?

But there was also cake.  Her mommy made a cake.  Did her mommy tell you she made a cake?  This one turned out… ok.

I said it before and I'll say it again, I never professed to being a professional cake decorator.  The kid is cute anyway.

I said it before and I’ll say it again, I never professed to being a professional cake decorator. The kid is cute anyway.

We also finished school.  It’s kind of a big deal, because the older one will be attending middle school next year.  Hard to believe, huh?

Last day of school.

Last day of school.

Other things went on too…

I went out to the schools to promote summer reading with a neighboring library.  I got the pleasure of speaking to my son and daughter’s classes.  What question does my son raise his hand to ask her?
“So if my mom works at one library, do I HAVE to go to that library????”
Thanks kid, I love you too.

In case you didn’t know, the Tooth Fairy has business hours: Teeth lost after 5pm will be processed the next business day. She also thanks you for your patience, because your business is very important to her.

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So Evil Genius got his hands on a Go-kart. Guess which one wanted to race it?

I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for supper last night because dammit I’m a grown-up.

My Mother’s Day gift-I requested that the kids do the dishes tonight.
The Professor (as soon as his father is out of earshot): I don’t remember how to wash dishes.

My cousin gave us shower notes.  Guess who has been using them?

My cousin gave us shower notes. Guess who has been using them?

Me: I got a reversible skirt at the consignment shop for $1.
Evil Genius:  What good is that? Who wants a skirt that only covers your stomach when you reverse it? That makes no sense whatsover…

The cat is after something in the stairway. After a moment I realize he’s after his shadow. Crazy, crazy cat.

Kitty does care about wrapping paper...

Kitty does care about wrapping paper…

The Professor:  I just wanted you to know something happened to my gum so I threw it away.
Me: What happened to your gum?
The Professor:  I don’t know. It was too chewy.

I’m leaving work the other day and the kids head out to the car ahead of me. I stopped to bring something back inside and see the kids are just standing outside by the car.
Me: What’s the matter, is the car locked?
The Princess: There’s a bug in there.
The Professor: We believe it could be dangerous.

Things I never thought I’d say #903: “You don’t need a Captain America shield to do yoga.”

I got my hair pertied... did I forget to mention that?

I got my hair pertied… did I forget to mention that?

I think I’ll stop there… Next month will be dedicated to the half marathon I didn’t die participating and other running things.  Because I can.  Now don’t YOU run away, check out the other blogs that are doing this too!

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                   Battered Hope

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                  Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                        The Momisodes

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                            Someone Else’s Genius

http://gndisney.wordpress.com                                Disneyland in Kentucky

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                            Juicebox Confession

http://dinoheromommy.com/                               Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.angelaweight.com                                  Sanity Waiting to Happen

http://www.southernbellecharm.com                        Southern Belle Charm

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                   Searching for Sanity

http://www.gomamao.com                                            Go Mama O

http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/              Eileen’s Perpetually Busy

 

Fly on the Wall April 2015: The Mutant Fly Edition

Fly on the WallHoly cow I think we have mutant flies. The biggest fly I’ve seen in a long time keeps landing on my screen. Heyyyyyyy wait a minute, I bet he wants to help me write my Fly on the Wall post!

Why would a fly want to help me write?  Let me explain a little about Fly on the Wall… In a nutshell, it’s snippets from life put together to make one post.  Participating bloggers then take said posts and all publish at the same time.  Magically at 10 am EST these posts all appear simultaneously once a month!  So read on to see what the fly and I wrote, then stick around and see what other bloggers wrote by clicking on one or two or ten of the links at the bottom of the post. 

So in other words, what fly WOULDN’T want to get in on that kind of awesomeness?  :-)

This is visual proof of why I get nothing accomplished often.  Cuddly animals and warm soft purple blankies.

This is visual proof of why I get nothing accomplished more often than not. Cuddly animals and warm soft purple blankies.

Me eating ice cream: “Oh ice cream how I love you! Why don’t I eat ice cream more often?”
Me two hours later: *In pain and crying* “Whyyyyyyy do I eat ice cream?????”

(Lactose intolerance, that’s why. It blows.)

That's about right... (From George Takei's Facebook page.)

That’s about right… (From George Takei’s Facebook page.)

Evil Genius to The Professor: “Did you learn anything at Baseball Camp today?”
The Professor: “Nothing that I can remember.”

Couldn’t find the library’s disposable silverware anywhere the other day at work. My choices to eat my mac and cheese were a big wooden spoon or a measuring spoon… I chose the measuring spoon.  It may have looked a little weird, but hey I was HUNGRY!

I'm the one in the purple hat.  I'm wearing three shirts and a jacket-it was COLD!  I finished 58th out of 78.  HEY I BEAT SOME PEOPLE!!!!

This is the 5K that we have in the spring in my town.  We literally can walk outside our door and participate.  I’m the one in the purple hat. It was so cold that I was wearing three shirts and a jacket! How’d I end up?  I finished 58th out of 78. HEY I BEAT SOME PEOPLE!!!!

Things not to do on the day of a 5K that you plan on actually running.
1) Drink orange juice beforehand
2) Eat blueberry waffles beforehand
3) Wear pants that won’t stay up
All bad things to do… trust me. *urp*

The Princess is learning to knit.  We have knitting needles and looms galore.  I'm still waiting for potholders.  Really, I seriously need her to make me some!

The Princess is learning to knit. We have knitting needles and looms galore. I’m still waiting for potholders. Really, I seriously need her to make me some!

*Stares at pair upon pair of black yoga pants in the laundry basket*  Is it possible to have an addiction to yoga pants?

IMG_3394The above picture is from Easter.  Why is my son wearing a button up shirt, tie, and vest?  Certainly not because we told him to. A friend gave us some of her son’s clothes that he had outgrown and he has been obsessed with that outfit ever since.  Every chance he’s got he’s tried to wear it.

The day before Easter… “Mom…”

Me without even hesitating:  “Yes you can wear the shirt and tie.”

He does look pretty cute, even though he started out wearing the shirt over a polo shirt.  He thought it would look extra nice.  We made him take it off.

Speaking of Easter, that bunny was definitely my favorite that weekend.

Speaking of Easter, that bunny was definitely my favorite that weekend.

Random things written on Facebook:

So apparently orange juice is not a viable alternative for milk in cream of chicken soup.

I really hate it when I find meat in my bra.

The Princess and I delivered cookies to my aunt and cousin in the Target parking lot recently. I’m now completely convinced that Girl Scout cookies are another form of crack. “You got the stuff?” “You got the cash?”

Yes those were my children walking to the bus stop in the pouring rain.  Brand new umbrella… Need I say more?

My pets... what a bunch of goofballs.

My pets… what a bunch of goofballs.

Me: “When I was a kid we used typewriters to type things because that was before they had computers for everyday use and things like ipads.”
The Princess: “Yeah. That was a long time before pencils too…”
Yes we etched everything on to a stone tablet…

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Both kids are on orange teams this year! What a coincidence!

My daughter wanted to clean for fun this past weekend.  I don’t think she’s really mine.

Yep that’s right.  Mom has been slacking in the cleaning department.  For whatever reason, my depression has reared its ugly head once again and I feel like doing nothing.  But I’m happy to say that we spent the day cleaning up our kitchen and not only has it stayed that way, I did some more organizing this week!  Now I can’t say much for the rest of the house, but by golly our kitchen looks great!

I always feel at home at Target.  This week I have proof that they really know me there.

I always feel at home at Target. This week I have proof that they really know me there.

Back to the running… there is kind of a happy ending here.  The next 5K was a couple of weeks later.  It was for my husband’s Live Healthy Iowa thingie.  I did decently-and I ran the whole way!  I’m not so sure where I actually finished, I have yet to see any race results.  However the hubby was so proud he got me flowers.  And they’re tie-dyed!

Now he can get flowers for me for when I’m done with the half marathon on May 30th.  He can put them on my grave, because I’ll probably die.

11149822_10204567797971835_579512764931082934_oThis weekend is Evil Genius’s birthday.  He turns the big 4-0.  We will be attempting to make Mountain Dew cupcakes.  I’m sure there will be a good story in there for next month’s Fly on the Wall.  We actually have three birthdays between now and then!  How about that?

So that’s it, short and sweet this month.  Thanks for stopping by and reading…  And how much help was the fly?  At some point the dog ate him.  How’s that for appreciation?  Don’t worry about him, there are plenty more flies out there.  Take a look at some of the blogs below.  They are just buzzing with things for you to read!

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                   Battered Hope

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                  Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                        The Momisodes

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                            Someone Else’s Genius

http://gndisney.wordpress.com                                Disneyland in Kentucky

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                    Searching for Sanity

http://www.angelaweight.com                                Sanity Waiting to Happen

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                   Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                         Juicebox Confession

Fly on the Wall March 2015: The Headache Edition

Fly on the WallFly on the Wall is a series of snippets from my life that won’t really make up a whole blog post by themselves, but certainly together make up a fun little bit of reading!  What’s unique about this is that participating bloggers all write their posts and they are put up simultaneously for your reading pleasure.  Except mine, because mine was late (see the next paragraph for an explanation below).  Anyhoo, the links to the other blogs are at the bottom of the post.  Please take some time to visit them all, they are wonderful (and funny) people!

So I took a month off from writing, I can’t say that a lot of interesting things happened…  And seriously my computer crashed when I was writing this.  Blue screen of death!  I panicked big time!  Fortunately after shutting it down and letting it sit for awhile, it seems to be okay.  Anyhoo…

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Look who got an American Girl doll. Yep. She named her Lizzie.

One night I had a dream that I was at work and it snowed only it snowed inside and I was trapped at work because I couldn’t drive my car through the snow inside the BUILDING I WORK IN. I need help. Seriously.  I think I just needed Spring.

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The Professor saw a commercial for what he thinks will be his new favorite thing: Bacon wrapped deep dish pizza.  Ew.

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My evening spent with my husband ended with conversations about how agricultural sprayers would be advantageous in a zombie apocalypse (as opposed to a combine) and how it would feel to be kicked by a kangaroo.

All of that was just in time for Valentine’s Week. We’re so romantic.

My Valentine lovies.  Aren't they cute?

My Valentine lovies. Aren’t they cute?

So The Princess is in that stage where she is losing lots of teeth. Two teeth were lost in a short period of time at our house. This is a lot for a tooth fairy to keep up with.

Lost tooth one went three days without payment. Finally a pink bag with magical confetti hearts and four shiny quarters in it appeared on the fourth day, along with a letter of explanation. Apparently the tooth fairy had a tooth convention in Toothiana Texas.

Lost tooth two also went three days sans money. Finally a dollar miraculously appeared under Mommy’s pillow this morning. We’re thinking the tooth fairy was playing tricks. Or maybe got confused…

I’d like the record to show that the tooth fairy does not have a drinking problem. Also, my daughter is a very light sleeper.

The kids got Beanie Boos.  They're cute but a little creepy with their big eyes.  They love them.

The kids got Beanie Boos. They’re cute but a little creepy with their big eyes. They love them.

After supper I swear I heard my husband said “Great, now I can crap. I’ve been waiting and gathering things all day to do it.”

What he actually said was that he can “craft”. On Guild Wars, the online game that he plays. I’m still not sure which one actually makes more sense to me…

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The Professor:  “What movie is this?”
Evil Genius: “Facing the Giants. Ever seen it?”
The Professor: Maybe I have. Unless I didn’t then I haven’t.

**********

The Headache Diaries-Facebook entries made by me during the month of the headache:

Hi I’m Sarah, and this is my headache. Maybe I should name it? What is a good name for a headache that won’t go away?
And Coming soon, Headache, the Musical…

Relief…

Evil Genius’s cheesecake: Now with divine healing powers.

I mean, yeah it’s always been heavenly and all, but tonight it made my migraine go away, and that was just the batter!

Eat his cheesecake tomorrow, gain superpowers. It could make a pretty good Friday, huh?

Help…

I give up. I surrender. Please just go away and let me be! You have made me into a completely worthless individual today!

Finally…

Just to share what a super kid I have: In an attempt to combat these terrible headaches I’m having, I quit drinking diet pop. I really gave up caffeine for the most part. I can’t say it’s really helping, but I’m trying. I’ve hardly had any caffeine other than the occasional coke in the last week.

Yesterday was hard because I had to work in the evening. I gave in and gave my son a dollar to run down to Casey’s to get me a can of Coke. He happily complied and it did help.

This morning I got up and came downstairs. He was sitting on the couch with a dollar in his hand. “What’s that for?” I asked him.

“Oh, it’s mine. I thought I’d bring it just in case you need something today mom.”

He’s my favorite today.

In conclusion…

So I am off of caffeine for the most part.  I’m still getting headaches, but not as bad.  So we’ll see.

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Graceful thing that I am, I dropped and broke my glasses.  Fortunately it was time to make an appointment anyway.  I got the indestructable flexon glasses, and they are PURPLE!!!!!

New glasses!

New glasses!

I just watched my cat flip a vhs tape across the floor and proceed to attack it… That’s right, make sure it’s dead.

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Newsflash: Frozen hashbrowns are not a ready to eat food (says on the package).

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The following is me online trying to find a new weight workout now that I’m running. Keep in mind I’m not a beginner, I’ve been lifting for many years:

Oh… I don’t want to watch a video…
That girl looks too happy, I can’t do that workout. Seriously, she’s enjoying that swiss ball waaaaay too much.
Our gym doesn’t have kettlebells.
I really don’t care what Reese Witherspoon does, thank you.
Last time I checked I’m not a man.

Yeah, still haven’t found a new workout…

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Evil Genius:  “How much snow do we have? 3 inches under the dog. Is that a standard measuring system?”

**********

Bad things to use as a bookmark for your library book #6: Your birth certificate.  True story… Not me, fortunately, but some other poor soul that is probably wondering where it went.  I sent it back to the library it came from.

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So upcoming things… The Professor starts baseball on Sunday.  This will be interesting for him, having to deal with other people in a team situation.  I may drink a lot the next two months.

In the next few months I will be running three 5Ks and a half marathon.  Am I crazy?  Pretty much.  I’m finally starting to see results.  Next month may very well be the running edition!

Now… don’t run away, check out these amazing people below.  You know you wanna…(My apologies to Karen, I really didn’t want to be late with this.  I still love you and will be ON TIME next month!  XOXO)

 http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                   Battered Hope

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                  Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                        The Momisodes

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                            Someone Else’s Genius

http://dinoheromommy.com/                            Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://gndisney.wordpress.com                                Disneyland in Kentucky

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                            Juicebox Confession

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                      Searching for Sanity

http://www.gomamao.com                                      Go Mama O

January 2015 Fly on the Wall: The Naked Firefighting Edition

Fly on the WallWelcome to this month’s Fly on the Wall.  This is the edition that really should be entitled Sarah No Longer Knows How to Use WordPress Because They Changed Things and That Makes Her Sad.  I already had a headache.  This did not help.

Fly on the Wall is a compilation of random snippets from daily life that aren’t really enough to make a whole blog post on their own. Participating bloggers all post these simultaneously so you get more bang for your buck, or something like that.  Check the links down at the bottom of this post for many more glimpses into other people’s lives!

So here’s what went on this month…

So we celebrated Christmas in the usual way.  There were presents and a big dinner.  The kids spent most of the day playing with their loot.

Then, the day after Christmas my husband put out a fire naked, because that’s how things go in our house.

That’s right.  Put out a fire.  Naked.

Apparently when you don’t get bits of potato that bubble over out of an already overfilled pan, and they get down into your oven, they catch on fire when you try to preheat your oven for pizza.

It was a bit smoky, and I went to check to see what it was all about, and there were flames shooting up out of the bottom of the oven.

So naturally I yell to my husband.  “The oven is on fire!” thinking that he is out of the shower.

But instead he was still in, and came running out to put out the fire.  Naked.  And wet.

Needless to say, the fire got put out, we had Taco Bell for supper, and my husband now has another story to tell that either makes people laugh or makes them uncomfortable.

His mother had to ask the question:  “Why didn’t you stop and put something on?”

Evil Genius:  “That’s the difference between you and me.  You stop to put on clothes, you burn up in a fire.  I get things done.”

(Needless to say, I did not post any pictures of this event.)

So that was the highlight of our Christmas Break, what was yours?

10903965_10202806013100840_4904101491691211625_oWe let The Professor watch Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, because he loves historical stuff.  That counts, right?  The Princess wasn’t nearly as interested, though she had to pipe up after the whole “69 Dudes!” part:  “Wow, 69 must be their lucky number!”  Yes honey, that’s right.

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Our New Year was the Cheeseball New Year.  I was sent out to buy multiple packages of cream cheese so that Evil Genius and The Princess could make all kinds of cheeseballs.  They ended making a pizza one, a Hawaiian one, and a Honey Dijon one.  I liked the Hawaiian one-it had ham and pineapple in it, among others.  I really do think that by the end of the break, Evil Genius and the kids were officially sick of eating that kind of food!

Cheeseball.  Pizza Cheeseball.

Cheeseball. Pizza Cheeseball.

Evil Genius and the kids were watching a show about a potato chip factory. They were mesmerized. The Professor decided that this would be his future workplace, even after I informed him that you don’t get to eat chips while you work.

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IMG_3383

Mmmmmmm… Minecraft…

Hawaiian Punch and a printable Creeper picture taped to it generated more excitement than anything else in this house.  Who'd have thought that would happen?

Hawaiian Punch and a printable Creeper picture taped to it generated more excitement than anything else in this house. Who’d have thought that would happen?

The Professor’s tenth birthday was this January.  We did everything Minecraft.  From the cake to the homemade decorations.  Everything.  Minecraft.  Who knew that downloaded a bunch of stuff from the internet and making all your own everything would be such a hit!  The kids are still talking about it.  Mom wins.

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Last Saturday ESPN Gameday came to Iowa State.  Evil Genius and the kids were there!  They both made a sign.

The Princess’s sign was extra sparkly.

10683536_10204047277119139_4844515838338383969_oThe Professor?  Not so much a fan of sparkles.

10926329_10204047277159140_6143067923615902243_oTo balance everything out, after Gameday Evil Genius went over to the Comic Book Store and competed in his first Magic Tournament.  Nerd.

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I’m currently at the end of Week 6 in my Couch to 5K Training.  I haven’t died yet.  I have two weeks left, and I’m actually running.  What’s next you say?  A run in the cold on the first Saturday in February.  Two more 5Ks in warmer weather as I’m doing the 5K to 10K program.  Then Dam to Dam at the end of May, which is a half marathon.  Yes.  That’s when I’ll die.  It’s been nice knowing you all.

Coming soon, I’ll be published in another anthology.  I know, what’s up with that????  I’ll have details ASAP!

So that was our month.  How was yours?  What are other bloggers doing?  Check it out belowwwwwwww….

 http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                   Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.JuiceboxConfession.com                    Juicebox Confession

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                              Battered Hope

http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/          Eileen’s Perpetually Busy

http://www.gomamao.com                                  Go Mama O

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                       Someone Else’s Genius

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                             Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                       The Momisodes

December 2014 Fly on the Wall: The Extra Bearded Edition

Fly on the WallWelcome to the December edition of the Fly on the Wall.  If you haven’t been here before, here’s a simple explanation:  These are snippets of life from my house.  I am simultaneously posting these snippets along with other participating bloggers.  Please, please, pretty please stop by the links of the other participants at the bottom of the post or you may find reindeer poop in your stocking!!!!!

We last left our superheroes starting to get ready for Thanksgiving dinner… We hosted Thanksgiving again this year.  We had Evil Genius’s now traditional turkey in a bucket and the not so traditional turkey made of cheese, sausage, and crackers…

10620237_10203670796387356_8976289056525414897_oWords uttered the week of Thanksgiving:  “It’s Tuesday. Do you know where your turkey bucket is?”

IMG_3267

My parents came up for Thanksgiving. Can you tell who the dog was most taken with?

Conversations held on Thanksgiving in our house:

Me to the Professor: “Are your pants on inside out?”
The Professor: “Oh.” Looks down at his pants, inspects them for a bit. “I guess they are” (Goes right back to watching tv).
Evil Genius: “Go fix them please!”

Tell me, what is wrong with this picture?

Tell me, what is wrong with this picture?

Now we are busy prepping for Christmas here at the house of nuts Almond.

There was Christmas shopping.  He bought himself an early present.  He's so good to him.

There was Christmas shopping. He bought himself an early present. He’s so good to him.

Here are the roles currently assumed by the people who occupy this place:

The Princess:  Craft Nazi
The Professor:  Christmas Expert
Evil Genius:  Evil Baker and Evil Chef
Me:  Space Occupier

The craft Nazi busy at work.  She wants to do crafts every second of every day!

The craft Nazi busy at work. She wants to do crafts every second of every day!

Me to The Princess: What are you going to make for Christmas gifts this year?
Princess: I don’t know.
Me (thinking I’m very smart and clever): Should we look on the internet for some ideas?
Princess: SURE!

I pull out my laptop and stupidly google “homemade gifts kids can make”. At search result #1, she gasps. At result #2 she squees… At result #154 she’s still ooing and ahhing.

An hour later, it’s quite apparent that she wants to make ALL the presents.
“All” as in every.single.craft on the internet. Be ready, people, be ready for all the crafts!

Evil Genius gets back from the ISU game to see me frantically trying to paint The Princess’s nails because it was bedtime and we had almost run out of time to do it.

Evil Genius: “I thought Moms enjoyed doing that with their daughters?”
Me: *Angry glare as I manage to paint my thumb holiday red*

Christmas nails.

Christmas nails.

Princess: Daddy what’s in these enchiladas?
Evil Genius: Chicken, sour cream, cheese, cumin-
Princess: Ew, HUMAN????
Evil Genius: No, CUMIN!

Rest assured that all of the cooking the Evil Genius does is 100% human free!

One thing that has recently come out of the Evil Genius's kitchen: Chocolate Peanut Butter trees!  (Yes they washed their hands but apparently not their faces!)

One thing that has recently come out of the Evil Genius’s kitchen: Chocolate Peanut Butter trees! (Yes they washed their hands but apparently not their faces!)

Speaking of holidays, today marks a special day.  After a few months of growth, my husband will finally be allowed to shave his beard.  They were not allowed to even trim them lest pay the fine of $100!  The picture below is almost three weeks old, so his beard is much scragglier even now.  There will be a lot of happy wives this weekend.  I hope to get a before and after picture that I can share!

He looks annoyed, but he loves it when she cuddles with him, because at least she's warm!

He looks annoyed, but he loves it when she cuddles with him, because at least she’s warm!

That’s all I’ve got.  Have a Happy Holiday!  And be sure to check out the links down below this picture of Christmas cuties or they just might very well tell Santa on you!

IMG_3288This month’s Fly Participants.  Give them a round of buzzzzzzzzzzzz…

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                 Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                            Battered Hope

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                 Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.JuiceboxConfession.com                    Juicebox Confession

http://www.risanye.com                                     Risa Nye

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com               The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

http://www.clutteredgenius.com                          Cluttered Genius

 

November 2014 Fly on the Wall: The Extremely Random Edition

Fly on the WallFor those of you that read this monthly, you know what this post is all about…

For those of you that might be first-timers, let me explain what this is.  Fly on the Wall is a collection of snippets from everyday life that by themselves wouldn’t make a whole post.  Participating bloggers all post simultaneously, because the more the merrier!  You not only get to read my randomness, but other people’s fun as well.  Stay tuned at the bottom of this post for links to other Fly on the Wall posts.

Let’s face it, my life is a bunch of random snippets, folks.  Without further ado, let me present the mostly adult quotes I’ve collected this month.  It’s not that my children aren’t funny these days, it’s just that the adults have had more unusual things to say lately.

But first we have the mandatory Halloween photo:

Princess Hello Kitty and Minecraft’s Super Steve. A lot of swearing went into making that Steve head.

Me: “Thanks for the kiss before you left this morning”
Evil Genius: “I gave you a kiss before I left?”
Me: “Yes”
Evil Genius: “Are you sure it was me?”
Me: “Who else would it be?”
Evil Genius: “I don’t know, but that doesn’t sound like me at all.”

Me: “Oh forget it! Just go back to your own little world over there!”
Evil Genius: “You have it wrong. It’s a big world, just very low population density!”

 Jack-o-Lantern Pizza.  Apparently it's a tradition now.

Jack-o-Lantern Pizza. Apparently it’s a tradition now.

Evil Genius: (spitting into the sink) “I don’t know where all that hair in my mouth came from”
Me: “Maybe your beard is growing inward.”
Evil Genius: “Really? Are you telling me I have an In-grown beard?”

The kids desperately wanted to carve a pumpkin.  Or rather, they wanted someone ELSE to carve it.  Nonsense-dad put them to work pulling out the guts.

The kids desperately wanted to carve a pumpkin. Or rather, they wanted someone ELSE to carve it. Nonsense-dad put them to work pulling out the guts.

Evil Genius’s female coworker: “Men sometimes don’t get the non verbal communication.”
Evil Genius: “No no, we get it! We just choose to ignore it.”

We had just finished watching the movie Chef.
Evil Genius: “What was that movie about?”
Me: “It was about the relationship between him and his son.  It was like Real Steel, only without giant robots.”

The Professor ran his first official 5K with dad. He ran all but about ten blocks of it!

While the Professor had a pretty good time of it, I did not.  A couple of blocks in I slipped on loose gravel and fell hard, skidding across the pavement.  I got back up and kept going, but ended up finishing fourth from the end.  I discovered later that I’d taken all the skin off of one knee and was bleeding.  Not my best moment-since then I’ve tried to get back into things.  I just downloaded the Couch to 5K app and hope to start on that next week.  We shall see!

So I went back red.  It's hard to tell just how red in this picture, but I assure you it's very pretty.

So I went back red. It’s hard to tell just how red in this picture, but I assure you it’s very pretty.

Things overheard in my house recently:

“VETO! No one is duct taping anyone!”

“My eyes hurt having heard that.”

“Never season angry!”

“Will you get that pizza off your head?”

“I have not yet lost my superpower, my ability to determine obscure roles by actors you’ve never heard of.”

I went to the doctor this past month and she was completely honest with me.  She told me I was seriously depressed.  I’m working on getting better, but unfortunately I have a long way to go.  I have several posts just gathering dust in my inbox as I try to put the right words in them so that they can be published.  Anything coming out of this brain these days isn’t exactly publish-worthy material-so I hope you enjoyed this post.

So getting through one day at a time.  An Iron Man shirt makes every day better though.

So getting through one day at a time. An Iron Man shirt makes every day better though.

But hey, forget about me and my issues-go check out the buzz in these other blogger’s abodes:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://www.therowdybaker.com                                  The Rowdy Baker

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                 Battered Hope

http://dinoheromommy.com/                         Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                   Someone Else’s Genius 

http://www.crumpetsandbollocks.com                     Crumpets and Bollocks

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                          Juicebox Confession

http://www.risanye.com                                              Risa Nye

http://www.gomamao.com                                    Go Mamma O

October Fly on the Wall: The Too Many Pictures Edition

Fly on the WallSo you think you wanna be a fly on my wall?  You want to know what goes on in my house?  Read on… then be sure to click on some of the blogs at the bottom of the post.  They need love too!  That’s because we all compiled these nice little snippets of our lives into posts and are sharing them simultaneously to give you the ultimate fly experience. It will be like traveling all over the world except different.  And less expensive.  Certainly less expensive.

So one or two of you might recall my epic screw-up last month when I discovered that it was Fly on the Wall week too close to fake it.  Damn it.  Normally I’d stay up all night and finish it but that wasn’t happening this time.

And so thrilled about getting his picture taken.

As you can see my husband so thrilled about getting his picture taken.

You see, the Friday of last Fly on the Wall my husband and I were about to embark upon the celebration of our 15th wedding anniversary.  We got to stay overnight without children and got to eat really good food.  It was a good night!  So I apologize for the lack of fun (for you) as I got to have all the fun to myself (for me).

I also discovered a possible career that night.  Think Blogger Vs Fried Ice Cream?

I have decided to make it my life's work to travel to different Mexican restaurants around the world, trying to see which one has the best fried ice cream.  This one was pretty good.

I have decided to make it my life’s work to travel to different Mexican restaurants around the world, trying to see which one has the best fried ice cream. This one was pretty good.

We’ve also had a lot of other things going on this last couple of months…

New school year, new teachers…

Both kids are obviously back in school.

What a great idea, and extra ammunition for this little ham. Naturally the Professor demanded to know where his picture was. Sigh…

They are doing pretty well thus far.

test

Yep. She can read.

We’ve also had sports, as in the Professor started flag football and Evil Genius was his coach… Because I’m terrified of being sued for using the only good picture of The Professor in football which happened to be the one taken by the professional, here is a picture of The Princess at the football game instead…

The Princess at The Professor's football game: Wow it's chilly out here." Reaches into her bag. "It's a good thing I brought slippers to keep my hands warm!" Weirdo

The Princess at The Professor’s football game: Wow it’s chilly out here.” Reaches into her bag. “It’s a good thing I brought slippers to keep my hands warm!” Weirdo

The Princess started Girl Scouts this month. You know what that means, right?  Her father is actually quite addicted to Thin Mints.  Think I’m kidding?  I’m not.  It’s going to be like having a live in crack dealer come Spring.

Thank goodness she doesn’t sell this stuff… this would get me in trouble.

I got addicted to something new.

I got addicted to something new.  Mmmmmm.

The Princess spends a lot of time arguing with Daddy these days:

The Princess: “When I grow up, I’m going to be a princess!”
Evil Genius (jokingly):  “You’ll never be a princess. And if you are, I’ll burn your kingdom to the ground.”
The Princess (Not joking): “You’ll be dead by then!”

We a little tailgating recently:

Betcha can't tell what team we're rooting for.

Betcha can’t tell what team we’re rooting for.

I’ve spent a lot of time up late planning things.  Then I start thinking (I really need to stop doing that):

What I think of at 11:30 at night-How do stormtroopers go to the bathroom? I would think that wouldn’t be a good career choice for yours truly seeing as being able to pee quickly is very important to me.

Speaking of stormtroopers…

My children for Star Wars Reads Day.  1)  Princess Leia's braids are a family traditon-every photo of her mother at that age has braids just like hers, half in and half out! 2)  Yoda refused to let me finish the ears because he wanted to wear them so badly...

My children at Star Wars Reads Day.  Important things to note- 1) Princess Leia’s braids are a family tradition-every photo of her mother at that age has braids just like hers, half in and half out! 2) Yoda refused to let me finish the ears because he wanted to wear them so badly…

There’s been LOTS of work stuff, which is why I’m insane and have mashed potato brains:

I find it fascinating how much the Professor recalls for someone who barely seems to be paying attention most of the time!  Every program we have at the library he is quite the font of wisdom.  For example, he knew all about jousting when many other kids had no clue.  Guess I’m doing something right?

I'd like to say he was being knighted, but this gentleman was trying to prove a point of how armor protects your head!

I’d like to say he was being knighted, but this gentleman was trying to prove a point of how armor protects your head using The Professor as an example!

And we’ve generally been having fun…

When it's "Girls Night", that means that you watch girl movies, and you get to hold the baby unicorn and mommy gets to hold the mommy unicorn.  True story.

When it’s “Girls Night”, that means that you watch girl movies, and you get to hold the baby unicorn and mommy gets to hold the mommy unicorn. True story.

Well more often than not.  This was my Facebook status earlier this month:
Windows 8 should come with chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. *sob*
There’s also that whole writing thing, which reminds me…  I’m in a book.  Me and a bunch of other lovely bloggers.  Really!  I wouldn’t lie to you about this…
10177416_10153261717862796_3210811541622430649_n

Believe it or not, someone let me be in a book. They’ll learn… Go to Amazon to find out all the juicy details of how to get your mitts on this book!

Now don’t run away just yet.  Click on these blogs for more shenanigans…

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://www.therowdybaker.com                                  The Rowdy Baker

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                 Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                             Battered Hope

http://dinoheromommy.com/                         Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                 Someone Else’s Genius

http://www.crumpetsandbollocks.com               Crumpets and Bollocks

Fly on the Wall September 2014: The Stupidity Edition

Fly on the WallTwo weeks ago I got an email reminding me about the Fly on the Wall just like I get every month.

I sent a reply to Karen letting her know that I had received the email and knew that it was coming up.

I had a busy week.  An insanely busy week.  Like an I wasn’t even here type of week.

And then I thought it was next Friday, not this Friday.  Why?  I know how to check a calendar.  I know how to read.  But my brain failed me.

Stupid brain.

Normally I would stay up and write and write and write until it was done, even if it meant staying up all night.  But this weekend my mother is coming to watch our children so that my husband and I can go out and celebrate 15 years of marriage.  I need my sleep, even though at this point it will not be much sleep.

So instead of subjecting you to a poorly written last minute post, I will direct you to visit these wonderful bloggers so that you can see what it’s like to be a fly on the wall in their houses. PLEASE go check them out and let them know just how wonderful they are.  :-)

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                           Baking In A Tornado

http://www.therowdybaker.com                                The Rowdy Baker

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                         The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                       Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home . . .

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                  Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                             Menopausal Mother

http://www.gomamao.com                                        Go Momma O

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                     Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                           Juicebox Confession

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                         Someone Else’s Genius

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                               Battered Hope

Beneath the Clearance Rack: A Tale of Unresolved Writer’s Block

Use Your WordsDid you know that every month you can be a part of something truly unique?  Karen of Baking in a Tornado regularly allows me to participate in the various writing challenges that she hosts and doesn’t tell me to hit the road.  At least she hasn’t yet.  If she’ll let me do it, by golly she’ll let anyone in. 

Use Your Words is one such challenge where participating bloggers provide four to six words or phrases.  These are then assigned to another blogger who can then tear his or her hair out trying to figure out how to use them in a coherent post.  These posts are simultaneously published at the same time so that you, the reader, can take in their amazingness like smelling apple pie right out of the oven.  I’m also tired and haven’t slept so I am using analogies very poorly.

That’s right.  It ain’t easy.  But yet I keep coming back every month…

This month my words were big ~ fast ~ ink ~ teddy bear ~Rumpelstiltskin ~ fart.  Oh that’s right.  One of my words was fart.  And I used it correctly in a sentence.

They were submitted by: http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com

Can't.Write.Anything.

Can’t.Write.Anything.  Nope.  Not a thing.

Once upon a time in a land not so far away there was a problem.  Not just a big problem, but a huge, gigantic enormous problem.

No matter how fast she scribbled, no matter how fast she typed,  the writer could not get the words to come out right.

She tried different kinds of ink, she tried different kinds of paper.  She even tried drinking different kinds of alcohol. No matter what she did her writing was all in vain.

She spent her nights sobbing, clutching her teddy bear, and drinking copious amounts of caffeine, hoping and praying that the words would somehow return.

“Why, why me?  Why must I be a victim of this horrible brain constipation?  Could I at least be lucky enough to have one giant word fart to relieve myself?”

All at once there was a deafening noise and a little man appeared on her keyboard.

“Who are you, Rumplestiltskin?”

Apparently this angered the little man so much he punched her in the nose and disappeared.

Later on that same evening after a binge of pretzels and various caffeinated beverages another person appeared to her.  This time she decided to keep her mouth shut, which was fine because it was actually full of pretzels.

“Follow the light.  You know the one. The red and white light in a perfect circle.  This holds the key to all that you know or think you know.”

(And she may or may not have been watching Willow earlier that evening.)

So she got in her car and went to Target.

So yeah.  Target holds all of life's secrets.

So yeah. Target holds all of life’s secrets.

The writer may not have found the words she was looking for.  But she did find underwear for $1.74, chocolate for 30% off, and a package of brightly colored lined paper which she never did use.  But that’s ok, because it was on clearance.

The moral of the story is that you may not be able to find the words you’re looking for, but you can certainly find something that you’re not looking for.  Just go to Target.  You’ll see.

This post has been brought to you by a severe case of writer’s block brought on by severe insomnia, too many pretzels, and perhaps one too many trips to Target in one week.  But you can also read posts by people who can actually produce coherent sentences when they try to write a blog post by clicking on one of the links below.

Seriously.  You just gonna sit there or are you going to click on one or two or all of those links?  Sheesh.  And I thought I procrastinated…

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                              Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                     Stacy Sews and Schools

http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com/                                   Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com                       Evil Joy Speaks 

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                            Someone Else’s Genius

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/        Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                            Follow me home . . .

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com               The Bergham’s Life Chronicles   

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                Battered Hope   

Twisted Mixtape Tuesday: The Soundtrack of My Summer 2014

twisted mixtape tuesdayWelcome to the return of Twisted Mixtape Tuesday.  Aren’t you excited?  I am! 

What is Twisted Mixtape Tuesday?  It’s a once a month opportunity to share the songs you love according to the chosen theme!  This week’s theme is the Soundtrack of Your Summer. When you’re done with my post, be sure to hop over to the link up on My Skewed View!

So what did I listen to this summer?  A quick look at my most played songs painted the picture pretty clearly.

This first one?  Because awesome!!!!

Happy-Pharrell Williams

The next one is just one of several other songs I’ve listened to constantly from the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack.

Spirit in the Sky-Norman Greenbaum 

Another sky related song that is wildly catchy…

Sky Full of Stars-Coldplay

I don’t know why but I’ve been totally stuck on this next song all summer.  Lady Antebellum is one of my favorite crossover groups.  This is the most played, but there are many other songs by this group that I listen to on a playlist pretty regularly.

Just A Kiss-Lady Antebellum

The last one is an oldie but a goodie.  At least compared to the others.  Fun.

I’m A Believer-Smash Mouth

What songs have been the soundtrack of your summer?  Let me know in the comments, or better yet, make your own post and share by linking it up at My Skewed View!