Fly on the Wall September 2014: The Stupidity Edition

Fly on the WallTwo weeks ago I got an email reminding me about the Fly on the Wall just like I get every month.

I sent a reply to Karen letting her know that I had received the email and knew that it was coming up.

I had a busy week.  An insanely busy week.  Like an I wasn’t even here type of week.

And then I thought it was next Friday, not this Friday.  Why?  I know how to check a calendar.  I know how to read.  But my brain failed me.

Stupid brain.

Normally I would stay up and write and write and write until it was done, even if it meant staying up all night.  But this weekend my mother is coming to watch our children so that my husband and I can go out and celebrate 15 years of marriage.  I need my sleep, even though at this point it will not be much sleep.

So instead of subjecting you to a poorly written last minute post, I will direct you to visit these wonderful bloggers so that you can see what it’s like to be a fly on the wall in their houses. PLEASE go check them out and let them know just how wonderful they are.  :-)

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                           Baking In A Tornado

http://www.therowdybaker.com                                The Rowdy Baker

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                         The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                       Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home . . .

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                  Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                             Menopausal Mother

http://www.gomamao.com                                        Go Momma O

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                     Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                           Juicebox Confession

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                         Someone Else’s Genius

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                               Battered Hope

Beneath the Clearance Rack: A Tale of Unresolved Writer’s Block

Use Your WordsDid you know that every month you can be a part of something truly unique?  Karen of Baking in a Tornado regularly allows me to participate in the various writing challenges that she hosts and doesn’t tell me to hit the road.  At least she hasn’t yet.  If she’ll let me do it, by golly she’ll let anyone in. 

Use Your Words is one such challenge where participating bloggers provide four to six words or phrases.  These are then assigned to another blogger who can then tear his or her hair out trying to figure out how to use them in a coherent post.  These posts are simultaneously published at the same time so that you, the reader, can take in their amazingness like smelling apple pie right out of the oven.  I’m also tired and haven’t slept so I am using analogies very poorly.

That’s right.  It ain’t easy.  But yet I keep coming back every month…

This month my words were big ~ fast ~ ink ~ teddy bear ~Rumpelstiltskin ~ fart.  Oh that’s right.  One of my words was fart.  And I used it correctly in a sentence.

They were submitted by: http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com

Can't.Write.Anything.

Can’t.Write.Anything.  Nope.  Not a thing.

Once upon a time in a land not so far away there was a problem.  Not just a big problem, but a huge, gigantic enormous problem.

No matter how fast she scribbled, no matter how fast she typed,  the writer could not get the words to come out right.

She tried different kinds of ink, she tried different kinds of paper.  She even tried drinking different kinds of alcohol. No matter what she did her writing was all in vain.

She spent her nights sobbing, clutching her teddy bear, and drinking copious amounts of caffeine, hoping and praying that the words would somehow return.

“Why, why me?  Why must I be a victim of this horrible brain constipation?  Could I at least be lucky enough to have one giant word fart to relieve myself?”

All at once there was a deafening noise and a little man appeared on her keyboard.

“Who are you, Rumplestiltskin?”

Apparently this angered the little man so much he punched her in the nose and disappeared.

Later on that same evening after a binge of pretzels and various caffeinated beverages another person appeared to her.  This time she decided to keep her mouth shut, which was fine because it was actually full of pretzels.

“Follow the light.  You know the one. The red and white light in a perfect circle.  This holds the key to all that you know or think you know.”

(And she may or may not have been watching Willow earlier that evening.)

So she got in her car and went to Target.

So yeah.  Target holds all of life's secrets.

So yeah. Target holds all of life’s secrets.

The writer may not have found the words she was looking for.  But she did find underwear for $1.74, chocolate for 30% off, and a package of brightly colored lined paper which she never did use.  But that’s ok, because it was on clearance.

The moral of the story is that you may not be able to find the words you’re looking for, but you can certainly find something that you’re not looking for.  Just go to Target.  You’ll see.

This post has been brought to you by a severe case of writer’s block brought on by severe insomnia, too many pretzels, and perhaps one too many trips to Target in one week.  But you can also read posts by people who can actually produce coherent sentences when they try to write a blog post by clicking on one of the links below.

Seriously.  You just gonna sit there or are you going to click on one or two or all of those links?  Sheesh.  And I thought I procrastinated…

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                              Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                     Stacy Sews and Schools

http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com/                                   Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com                       Evil Joy Speaks 

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                            Someone Else’s Genius

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/        Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                            Follow me home . . .

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com               The Bergham’s Life Chronicles   

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                Battered Hope   

Twisted Mixtape Tuesday: The Soundtrack of My Summer 2014

twisted mixtape tuesdayWelcome to the return of Twisted Mixtape Tuesday.  Aren’t you excited?  I am! 

What is Twisted Mixtape Tuesday?  It’s a once a month opportunity to share the songs you love according to the chosen theme!  This week’s theme is the Soundtrack of Your Summer. When you’re done with my post, be sure to hop over to the link up on My Skewed View!

So what did I listen to this summer?  A quick look at my most played songs painted the picture pretty clearly.

This first one?  Because awesome!!!!

Happy-Pharrell Williams

The next one is just one of several other songs I’ve listened to constantly from the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack.

Spirit in the Sky-Norman Greenbaum 

Another sky related song that is wildly catchy…

Sky Full of Stars-Coldplay

I don’t know why but I’ve been totally stuck on this next song all summer.  Lady Antebellum is one of my favorite crossover groups.  This is the most played, but there are many other songs by this group that I listen to on a playlist pretty regularly.

Just A Kiss-Lady Antebellum

The last one is an oldie but a goodie.  At least compared to the others.  Fun.

I’m A Believer-Smash Mouth

What songs have been the soundtrack of your summer?  Let me know in the comments, or better yet, make your own post and share by linking it up at My Skewed View!

The ABCs of Geekery

1453299_1018596878169765_1812082205818886226_n

I see the world through different eyes than other people do. Like this sign. I so totally would have thought this.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I live in a geek world. I admit that on here on a regular basis.  My husband is a geek, and my kids are geeks.  I live in a small town where geekery is in short supply, so you can say that I don’t exactly have a lot of people I can talk to.

Working in a library, I must say that I have found a few more kindred spirits.  I still get a lot of strange looks when I’m ask to recommend books and I gush over Tolkien and Rick Riordan.  But at least there are a few like minded teens that wholeheartedly embrace their geekiness right along with me.

That’s right, I live in my own little world much of the time, and I like it there.

Several writer friends and I decided to do a little exercise to get the creativity flowing.  Each of us wrote an ABCs of something that we consider ourselves quite familiar with.  I chose geekery, because, well, why not?

As it turns out, this post was much harder to write than I thought, because so many of the things I wanted to write about started with the same letter.  So I had to make choices.  And decision making is NOT my strong suit…

Yep, even as a kid I was a pretty big geek.

I’m Princess Leia, my sis is an Ewok. My lightsaber ruled.

Avengers-The movie responsible for bringing me out of my geek closet that I had retreated to when I became an adult.  We’ve seen it more times than I can count.  When there’s nothing on tv, one of two movies goes in the blu-ray player, Avengers or Iron Man 2.

Big Bang Theory-Thanks to this show, geeks are almost cool.  And I would totally hang out with Sheldon Cooper. Oh wait, I do, because my son is totally Sheldon.

Comic Book Store-I am very fortunate to have a wonderful comic book store right close by.  They have pretty much everything a geek could ever want!  We spend a fair amount of time there, even though I myself don’t purchase the comics like the kids (and husband) do, it’s still fun to look!

No.

No.  I want one that is fully functional.

Death Star-I want my own Death Star.  I do.  So I can go destroy things that make me unhappy.  It wouldn’t be actual size.  I could keep it in the garage.

Elves-I had to put something in here related to Tolkien.  This has nothing to do with Keebler elves, though I do like to eat their cookies.

Fan Fiction-Remember the books that were based on the Star Trek series that would tell other stories starring the characters?  I used to read them voraciously.  Now I think the equivalent would be fan fiction.

I never thought I'd love a tree so much until I saw this movie.

I never thought I’d love a tree so much until I saw this movie.

Guardians of the Galaxy-I had a hard time with this letter, so I finally picked this movie.  I didn’t think I was going to like it.  This is the latest Marvel movie to come out, and it is great.  Still not quite on par with Avengers or Captain America: Winter Soldier, but it is definitely worth seeing in the theater.  And it has a great soundtrack too!  G is also for Groot, whom I guarantee you will totally fall in love with when you see this movie.

Heinlein-When I was in grammar school, yes that’s what they call it in rural Maine, my mother was the librarian.  I discovered some wonderful things spending so much time in the library.  While other girls were reading Sweet Valley High books, I was reading Heinlein.  And Alan Dean Foster.  And Brian Daley.

So if I can't have the Death Star, can I just have Iron Man?

So if I can’t have the Death Star, can I just have Iron Man?

Iron Man-Because it’s Iron Man.  And Robert Downey Jr. is Iron Man.  That is all.

John Williams and James Horner-I got involved with music because of these guys.  In case you don’t know, they are both composers who did the scores for, well, scores of geek movies.

Klingon-I have never gone to a Star Trek convention.  I think it would be great fun.  And I would love to dress up as a Klingon.  Really!  Because who wouldn’t have fun with that?

Libraries-Still the ultimate geek haven.  It’s changed a lot in the past few years.  A lot of geeks come to not only check out their favorite books, but also play games on the computers and play Magic with their friends.

Avengers Magic Mike

So much to see in the movies these days… Thank you Marvel.

Marvel Cinematic Universe-Thank you Marvel for making superhero movies fun again. I’m not saying I dislike the dark gritty Dark Knight movies, I’d just rather be laughing.

Nerds-Now they don’t make QUITE so much fun of us…

Optimus Prime-While I’m not a huge Transformers fan, I must add this for my husband’s sake.

I never get tired of this picture.  Never.

I never get tired of this picture. Never.

Physics-Because where would we geeks be without physics? Truth be told I barely passed Physics in high school.  But my husband took Quantum Physics for fun in college.  Science people…

Q-The best villain in the Star Trek universe.  Sorry Khan.

Role playing-Now get your mind out of the gutter!  That’s not what I’m talking about!  I’m talking about Dungeons and Dragons and Star Wars and superhero type stuff.  You get to pretend to be a character you like.  As a kid I role played Star Wars by mail.  Now it’s all technological and stuff.  Maybe it was a good thing I didn’t have the options available today as a kid.

We like Star Wars a little bit around here. Just a little.  Not much at all.

We like Star Wars a little bit around here. Just a little. Not much at all.

Star Wars and Star Trek-A friend of mine (you know who you are) insists that if you like one you cannot like the other.  I call that theory complete BS.  I find both incredibly awesome, and for totally different reasons.  I love the story of the Star Wars universe even if I haven’t been totally enamored with the newer movies.  I grew up on it.  I saw Star Wars for the first time at the drive-in my preschool years and have been in love with it ever since.  Star Trek is the reason why I can never really say I’m bored, when all I have to do is find an episode of one of the series to watch.  Or pop in one of the many movies-we own them all except for Into Darkness.

Time Travel-Back to the Future style, of course.  Still one of my all time favorite movies!

Underoos-I had C3PO underoos as a kid.  Now my kids have superhero underoos!  If that doesn’t scream geek I don’t know what does.  I kind of wish I still had some.

Villains-I love a good villain.  Ian McKellen’s Magneto is probably still my all time favorite villain.  Q, Darth Vader, Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman), The Borg Queen, Ivan Vanko, I could sit and name the ones I love for hours.  I especially love complicated villains, and the stories behind why they went bad.  In some cases, very, very bad.  In other cases, not so much.

It's the best website on the internets.  Nothing but Wil Wheaton's face photoshopped onto everything imaginable.

It’s the best website on the internets. Nothing but Wil Wheaton’s face photoshopped onto everything imaginable.  http://photoshopwilwheaton.tumblr.com/

Wil Wheaton- This guy is everywhere.  He is on every form of social media there is.  I think I follow him on every platform possible.  Why?  Because he is the ultimate geek.  He speaks to us geek folk in our language.  For the layperson, Wil played Wesley Crusher on Star Trek:The Next Generation.  He was the kid.  I had a poster of him in my bedroom, because I was a closet teenaged geek.  Now I probably look like I stalk the guy, but I don’t care. He’s our spokesperson.

X-Men-Because X is a hard letter.  I like X-Men.  And I wasn’t about to put Xbox, because Skyrim.

Yar’s Revenge-At one time I was one of those video game freaks, I had an Atari.  Then they got hard and complicated.  Now I play Tetris and that’s about it.  My husband is the major player in the house.

Remember this?

Remember this?

Zork-Only one of the coolest games ever made.  Do you remember Zork?  It was a game with no graphics, no visuals, nothing but words telling you what to do next.  This was something we did at school on those very first computers that we ever had in a lab.  This was even before Oregon Trail.  It.was.awesome.  Awhile back I had a copy of the game fall into my possession and was so very sad that I couldn’t get it to work on my computer.

Now I was a little late to the party, thanks to a really busy week and little inspiration to finish this, but there is a link up if you’d like to link up your very own ABC post of anything that you feel that you’re a bit of an expert in.

Selfies at the races.  Not sure who the guy is.

See my Captain America t-shirt?  I’m so proud I own one.  I just bought a sweatshirt too.  I’m not really obsessed with the Captain, I just have a really hard time finding Iron Man stuff I like.  ;-)

August Fly on the Wall: Bob’s Lubed Bamboo Edition

Fly on the WallIf you tell your Iphone “A whop bop-a-lu a whop bam boom” it will translate it as “What Bob lube up a lot bamboo.”

Confused? I was trying out the talk to text function in the Notes to try to help preserve all those precious quotes for future Fly on the Wall posts. And it was funny.

Yes that’s right people, it’s fly time again.  Did you know that I spend quite a bit of time each month preparing for this moment? 

But Sarah, what exactly is Fly on the Wall?  And how will it make my life deeper and more meaningful?

Glad you asked, random anonymous person who kind of sounds like me.  Fly on the Wall is a post putting together many of the random things that are said or done around the house that on their own wouldn’t make up a post on their own.  Eleven bloggers all publish their posts at the same time with links to all the participating people so that you will get to take in all of their awesomeness in the SAME TIME PERIOD. 

Hot damn.  So make sure you check out some of the links at the bottom of this post.

As far as making your life deeper and more meaningful?  I’m not so sure about that happening.  But you will laugh…

This picture from the State Fair makes me laugh every time I see it.

This picture from the State Fair makes me laugh every time I see it.

The kids are playing legos in the next room.
The Princess: Wait! My lego guy says to wait!
The Professor: Ok, what’s his name?
The Princess: His name is Rotisserie.
(I suppose that’s better than Victoria Secret.)

The Professor:  “These shorts make me better. I’m like Ezra 2.0.”

My Facebook status a little more than halfway through our week of vacation:  So a week of vacation thus far: Sunday we took a trip to the zoo, yesterday we bought American cheese and cat litter, and tomorrow my husband gets an oil change. Bet you’re so jealous.

The Professor, upon hearing about Pigs in Space:  This pigs in space, is that an angry birds thing?

My children are deprived.  They had never had cotton candy before!

My children are deprived. They had never had cotton candy before!

We went to the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha.  The most interesting animal name we saw was a Screaming Hairy Armadillo.  No I did not take a picture, because it was dark and I couldn’t see it. Couldn’t hear it either.

I don’t have a bucket list, I have a Dixie cup list.

A good app to invent for those long car rides:  A where’s the next potty app, so we how long we have to wait until we can stop and pee at an actual restroom.  Somebody get on that, will ya?

Perhaps you saw my husband and I out on a date at the Piggly Wiggly?  Apparently we also brought Scott and Pa.

Perhaps you saw my husband and I out on a date at the Piggly Wiggly? Apparently we also brought Scott and Pa.

Recently we decided to do something that normal people do for a change and watch Game of Thrones.  Since we have it at the library we have rented it and have been watching it as we can.  It’s pretty good, though I can do without the very graphic killings and whatnot (unless you live in a box, you know what I mean by the whatnot). I literally sit and watch it, ready to turn my head at a moment’s notice so I don’t see heads being sliced off/throats being cut/etc.  Here are some things that have been uttered or typed on Facebook chat while watching Game of Thrones in our living room:

“I have to get off here now and go watch all the sex.  Evil Genius just put Game of Thrones in.”

“I wonder if they have breast auditions.”

“This is going to end badly.”

“Hey look, it’s John Oates.”

I really have to get off of Facebook while I’m watching this, because so far I keep seeing “Everybody diiiiiiiiessssss!”

(Maybe this is where Bob’s lubed bamboo fits in?)

10535624_10202912660714438_377833243315385433_o

Look! A four leaf clover!

After arguing with my kids about the fact that they NEED to go outside and then MAKING them go outside for a bit, the thing that irks me is this: I wish someone would make ME go play outside while they do all my chores.

The Princess:  “Mommy, look, the Science Center has a MOAT!”  Hmmm, must be to keep unwanted science out?

Evil Genius:  “I’ll take a triple shot soy vanilla latte.  That’s right, that’s a man’s coffee.”

The Professor:  “These sunglasses make me look like a man.”

Played slow pitch softball for the first time ever.  My kids were the ones on the bleachers, biting each other on the butt.  Just in case you were wondering.

photo 2(5)

The first day of school. Adorable. Especially when they aren’t biting each other on the butt.

Now don’t forget-go visit my other friends (yes I have those.)

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://www.therowdybaker.com                                  The Rowdy Baker

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                            Follow me home . . .

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                   Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                                Menopausal Mother

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                          Someone Else’s Genius

http://www.gomamao.com                                          Go Mamma O

Use Your Words: Color Me BAD!

Use Your WordsDo you remember when you were little and your mother told you to stop throwing that tantrum and USE YOUR WORDS?

This is nothing like that.

Welcome to the August edition of the Use Your Words blogging challenge, hosted by the lovely and ever so wordy queen of the baking universe Karen of Baking in a Tornado.  Today’s participants have carefully chosen 4-6 words that are then assigned to another blogger to weave into one entertaining post!  Check out the links below this post to see how other bloggers are using their words!

My words were:  Humidity ~ Frizz ~ smurf ~ Walk Like an Egyptian

They were submitted by the delightful and not really so villainous Joy of Evil Joy Speaks!

This year in an attempt to be physically fit I made a decision that I was going to run a 5K.  After all, my husband was training for a half marathon, and it only made sense that I would subject myself to bodily torture by signing up for something that I might actually have to do some running in.

After months of making excuses, I finally gave in and signed up for one.  Not just any 5K, The Color Run, otherwise known as the Happiest 5K on the Planet.  Not only did I sign up, I created a team.  And people even signed up to be on this team.

And then my husband said I needed to run it.  In July.  When it’s hot.  The good feeling?  Definitely gone, replaced by panic and fear.

Keep in mind that I don’t run, I walk.  And though I understand that many people that sign up to do these things actually do walk the whole thing, it really made sense that maybe I should push myself a little.  No I wasn’t going to Walk Like An Egyptian, I was going to try to run the damn thing.

This Spring I prepared by doing the 5K right here in town.  I literally had to open the door and walk a couple of blocks to be there.  I also had to take my children with me.  It turned out ok, don’t get me wrong, but I think it would have been better to have done it alone.  Kids think you are tormenting them when you make them do any physical activity, let alone walk 3.1 miles.  I chronicled the event here if you care to take a gander.

Time flew and before I knew it the weekend of the Color Run was upon us.  I had been home all summer with my kids, and let’s face it, physical fitness and training and all that stuff was not really happening. Because that would be active, and being active is silly.

And my team? Most of them chickened out.  They had excuses, but they still chickened out.  Luckily, my husband rose to the occasion and filled in.  After all, he ran a half marathon, this would be like the buzzing of flies to him, right?

Let me explain a little more about this race.  When you run the Color Run, you start out wearing all white, like below.

BEFORE...

BEFORE… see? White.

Then you walk or run and they throw colored powder at you at several places along he way.  That’s right, they THROW STUFF AT YOU!

What was I thinking?

But you know what?  I ran about half of it.  That’s a huge accomplishment for me.  Considering I didn’t really get to train, that’s pretty darn good.  And I didn’t die.

Luckily, we got done before it got too hot and the humidity caused my hair to frizz too badly.  I was pretty colorful when we got done, luckily I didn’t end up looking like a smurf like so many pictures I’ve seen from this race!

This is okay because purple is my favorite color.

… And after. This is okay because purple is my favorite color.  I even had color in my teeth!

I had color in my hair, in my teeth, in my snot, and in places all over my body that I am not even going to begin to mention.  But it was fun. And you know what?  I’m definitely going to do it again next year!

Next 5K is the Glow Run in October.  That will be fun.  And maybe, just maybe, I might get to train for this one with the kids back in school!

What words are my peeps using today on their blogs?  Check it out by clicking on the links below!!!!!

http://Bakinginatornado.com                                       Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://themomisodes.com                                      The Momisodes

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/               Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://www.JuiceboxConfession.com                             Juicebox Confession

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com                 Evil Joy Speaks

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                   Follow me home . . .

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                       Someone Else’s Genius

http://www.crumpetsandbollocks.com                       Crumpets and Bollocks

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com              The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

Twisted Mixtape Tuesday: Awesome Mixtape 2

twisted mixtape tuesdayRecently I’ve been feeling a little blue.  Perhaps this is directly related to the lack of Twisted Mixtape Tuesday in my life.  Could it be?

This past week Jen and I both got the pleasure of seeing one of the greatest movies ever made:  Guardians of the Galaxy.  Unfortunately we didn’t get to go see it together, since we live a state away from each other (I know, cue the sad face.)  In case you haven’t had a chance to watch this movie, I certainly don’t want to give anything away, so I will keep my mouth shut.  I will however say this:  If you liked Avengers, you’ll love this movie.  In addition to it being downright funny and entertaining and downright awesome, it all centers around an awesome mixtape, rightfully called Awesome Mix, Part I.

This special edition of Twisted Mixtape is dedicated to this very movie.  What if I chose the music for the sequel, the Awesome Mix, Part 2?

Considering I write fan fiction with specific soundtracks in mind, this is hands down the easiest Twisted Mixtape Tuesday ever!  I can only imagine the plot, so I don’t have a lot of specific information to base my choices upon.  I can only believe that the Guardians planners will once again pick tracks that burrow into your brain and make you never, ever, ever cease to hear the songs over and over and over…

Tragedy-Bee Gees

If You Leave Me Now-Chicago

Don’t Fear The Reaper-Blue Oyster Cult

Rocket Man-Elton John

Superstition-Stevie Wonder

So now that I have finished this mix, I’m going to go listen to the soundtrack for the millionth time… What would you put on your soundtrack to the second movie?  Tell me in the comments, or better yet make your own post and link it up at My Skewed View!!

Racecar is a Palindrome And Other Racing Stuff: My Family’s Experience With NASCAR

IMG_0213

Why yes, there aren’t any rules prohibiting you from rooting for multiple teams at once as you can see by my attire. My Kevin Harvick shirt is there, underneath all the layers (it was COLD!)

I might have shared once or twice that my family is huge into NASCAR.  Recently I was asked to share my family’s experience with the sport with
Fanatics, and I figured it would be good inspiration to perhaps get me to do some more writing.  Naturally the more part didn’t happen, but I did have a lot of fun writing this post!

I myself didn’t always follow the sport, my husband being the fanatic (not just of NASCAR, he is into sports, period). I simply watched from afar, poking a good bit of fun at him.

The first race I ever really watched was Daytona in 2001.  Ironically, that was the day that Dale Earnhardt died, and I just happened to be watching.  How sad is that introduction to the sport?  Not too long after that a show was created that showed NASCAR drivers in their natural habitats.  It was called NASCAR 360 and it followed around several drivers as they went about their day.  I developed quite the affinity for one Mr. Kevin Harvick and his wife Delana, and have been a big fan ever since.  I also root for Matt Kenseth, and also have been known to cheer for Mark Martin, Kent Schrader, and Jeff Burton when they were racing full-time.

IMG_0256

I love the fact that you can look right in the pit box and see Delana Harvick sitting there!  Now Kevin has moved on to a different team since then, but he will always be the driver of the 29 to me!

My husband has been a race fan all his life.  He’s from Oskaloosa, Iowa, where there is a racetrack right uptown.  He grew up rooting for Awesome Bill from Dawsonville, the amazing Bill Elliot.

By the time he came around, my son was born into a family that loved racing.  At the tender age of two he stole my thick NASCAR preview magazine and memorized all the names of the drivers, their numbers, their owners, and so forth.  He was TWO.

This two year old also decided that Jeff Gordon was his favorite driver.  In my household at that time, it was almost blasphemy.  Eventually as Jeff became less whiney, we learned to tolerate this decision.  It could have been worse, he could have chosen Tony Stewart.  This child was so into Jeff Gordon that he was Jeff Gordon for Halloween three years in a row, and still has a Jeff Gordon themed bedroom!

He decided he was a Jeff Gordon fan at the tender age of two.  I swear his first words were "Dupont Chevrolet".

He decided he was a Jeff Gordon fan at the age of two. I swear his first words were “Dupont Chevrolet”.

My daughter has been dragging her feet about NASCAR.  She likes it but not like we do.  Greg Biffle is her man.  She also roots for Kyle Busch because she likes M&Ms.  Once or twice she has uttered the words “Go Danica Patrick.”  Them’s fightin words in this house…

I would like the record to note that I have done quite well in two different NASCAR fantasy leagues.  I kicked butt.  I was awesome.  I’m only throwing that in because it will probably be the only time I will be able to say I did well at anything involving sports.

In April of 2012 we got the opportunity to attend our first race as a family at the Kansas Speedway in Kansas City, Kansas.  I being the anxious one naturally balked at the cost of attending such an event, but in the end it came out okay.  It was definitely a unique experience, and here are a few things we took away from it:

Squeeeeee!  We were so close to the cars!!!!

Squeeeeee! We were so close to the cars!!!!

1)  No matter what they say the weather is going to be, prepare for the opposite.  It was supposed to be 75 and beautiful.  It was in the 40s and freezing.

2)  Kettlecorn is a wonderful way to satiate two starving young children.

3)  Choose your seats wisely. The ones we got weren’t overly expensive, and we got to see the drivers pretty close when they had driver introductions.

4)  Bring a good camera.  My camera was so awesome that I got a picture of Delana Harvick sitting in the pit booth, and I was pretty far away.  So.Awesome.

5)  Earplugs.  You’ll need them.  Trust me.

6)  It’s nothing, absolutely nothing like watching it on tv.  You can see and hear everything.  And experience things like when they say that a car doesn’t sound right, you know it when you’re there in person.

7)  Races are kind of boring when no one wrecks.  There was one caution for Bobby Labonte blowing up.  That was it.  Booo.

8)  Get a souvenir t-shirt.  Get two.  Hell get seven of every driver and wear them all over the top of one another.

9)  Preschoolers will sleep where they lie, even at a noisy racetrack.

IMG_0257

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

NASCAR is a family thing in our household.  It’s probably the only thing we can agree on.  Forget football, soccer, tennis, curling, etc-we all enjoy this sport.  We may not like the same drivers, but it is fun watching it together!

IMG_0233

One year, Daytona fell on Valentine’s Day. They did that just for us, right? :-)

 

Fly on the Wall July 2014: The Soylent Green Edition

Fly on the WallWelcome to this month’s installment of Fly on the Wall brought to you by Karen of Baking in a Tornado and all things funny.  “What’s this?”  You might ask.  It’s snippets of everyday life compiled into one post.  Sometimes funny, sometimes touching, and always interesting.  These posts are all published simultaneously in a group format-so don’t run away when you’re done here.  Keep going all the way to the bottom, and check out some of my fellow flies and their doo doo. 

Waiting patiently for the fireworks on the 4th!

Waiting patiently for the fireworks on the 4th!

Is it wrong to run in the room and yell “Kill! KILL ALL THE THINGS!” and then run out when your husband is playing Skyrim? Asking for a friend.

************************************************

Me: What are you guys going to do this afternoon?
The Professor: I want to go play pretend some more with my new character I created. He’s a ninja turtle and his name is Adam.
The Princess: Me too, my new character is Victoria Secret.

You can’t make this stuff up, people. And I should probably start buying my underwear and bras at Target…

*************************************

The Princess, upon seeing the commercial for those stupid Teddy Tanks: I WANT THAT!!!!
Me: You want everything.
The Princess: I changed my mind about everything else. I just want that.

WTF is a teddy tank?

WTF is a teddy tank? This.  Hell no.

Today I was told by a little boy I have superpowers.  Not sure what they are yet, but I’ll take it.

**********************************************

Evil Genius:  Do we have any chili?
Me: Yes… but I don’t know if you’re going to like it. I got it to try, it’s from Aldis.
Evil Genius: It’s probably not made with real meat, probably made of people.

It’s chili, dear, not Soylent Green…

*********************************************

Me to The Princess: Don’t forget the zoo is coming to the library tomorrow.
The Princess: Oooo! Will they bring animals?
Me: Yes, but I can’t remember off the top of my head what they’re bringing.
The Princess: Ohhhh! Maybe they will bring a giraffe!
Me: Now how would they get a giraffe up here (our local zoo is almost an hour away)?
The Princess: Maybe if he was taking a nap?

***************************************************

I’ve decided that summer vacation is just one really long argument with my kids.  The topic may change, but the arguing just goes on and on…

The Professor: What actor has been in most of the movies?
Me: Which movies?
The Professor: Most of the movies.
Me: Like a certain series or something?
The Professor: No, I mean most of the movies.
Me: You mean like most of all of the movies ever made?
The Professor: Yeah.
Me: Oh, I can’t even begin to answer that question.
The Professor: Well whoever it is, that’s my favorite actor.
(Later he recanted and said it was Robert Downey Jr and the guy that did the voice of Emmet in the LEGO movie.)

The Princess and her dream car.  A purple convertible.

The Princess and her dream car. A purple convertible.

Both kids got to get their picture taken with their dream car at the car show on the fourth of July. Naturally they wanted to see their pictures right away. Me being the former teacher I tried to make this a teachable moment.

Me: “You know when your dad and I were kids, we didn’t get to see the pictures immediately. We had to send them off to be developed, IN THE MAIL. And had to wait for them to come back in the mail.”

Evil Genius: “We had to wait WEEKS!”

Both kids: *GASP*!

The Professor and his dream car.  It looks like the Batmobile!

The Professor and his dream car. He says it looks like the Batmobile!

Funny how as soon as the mom returns to the house that the children are suddenly starving.

****************************************************

The Princess, coming down the stairs with her porcelain tea set.  “Would you like some coffee?”
Me: “Sure.”
The Princess:  “Would you like creamer or sugar or both in your coffee?”
Me: “Both.”
The Princess:  “Would  you like some dessert to go with your coffee?”Me:  “Why not?”
The Princess, watching me drink my pretend coffee and eat my pretend dessert.  “By the way, I put butter in the coffee.”
Must be a Paula Deen recipe.

Selfies at the races.  Not sure who the guy is.

Selfies at the races. Not sure who the guy is.

I put this one in here just for Karen… Note to spammers to help you improve the efficiency of your spamming:  Putting the word SCAM in your description kind of defeats the purpose.

*****************************************************

Evil Genius: I just had Mexican stuff on hot dog buns. It’s kind of like laundry day for food. (The day before grocery day…)

10498245_10202739788352737_8139245987908104199_o

And it was delicious…

Now you promised… go buzz on over to the other doo doo…

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com                                   The Sadder But Wiser Girl

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home . . .

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                  Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://www.gomamao.com                                    Go Mama O

http://www.kimulmanis.com                                    Kim Ulmanis

http://dates2diapers2.blogspot.com                        Dates 2 Diapers 2

http://dinoheromommy.com/                            Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                         Someone Else’s Genius

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                      Battered Hope    

Lego My Sanity: A Bit of a Rant

Use Your WordsWelcome to this month’s Use Your Words Challenge!  Bloggers participating in this challenge literally get to swap words to use in their posts, and the resulting masterpieces are all published at the same time for the world to read! 

The words I was given this month are: White ~ Table ~ Legos ~ Hair Brush ~ Tube

They were submitted by: http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/

Be sure to see what other bloggers came up with by following the links at the bottom of the post.  Now read on for my little rant!

They get it honest.  Honest.

They get it honest. Honest.  I’m constantly reminded just how mean I am because I did not permit him to purchase this $400 set.

In case you haven’t figured out by reading some of my older posts, we are a lego family.

I love legos, because they encourage creativity and problem solving and all of that jazz for two children who would rather be parked in front of a television most of the time.  My kids would be content to play with legos all day long some days.  That’s cool, because it keeps them well entertained.

I also hate legos, because my children never pick them up.

Apparently legos are so much fun that we can never be done playing with them completely.  “But I’m not finished yet!” are the words of protest met most often when we have to quit building to do silly things like eat your supper, go brush your hair with a hair brush so you don’t look like an orphan child when we leave the house, or get ready for bed.

They were delighted when the Easter Bunny delivered these guys.

They were delighted when the Easter Bunny delivered these guys.

We tried establishing a specific area in the room adjacent to our living room where the legos could congregate.  There is a table set up specifically for building with legos, but instead it functions more as another place to put legos that are not being used.  The legos that are “being used” are all over the floor.

A perfect example of what really grinds my gears when the legos are out:  The Princess must only use white legos to construct her house of awesomeness.  That means that approximately 90% of the other legos must be thrown aside as she searches for those particular bricks.  On the floor.  Where they can be stepped on.

Imagine my chagrin when my husband gave in to the children’s request to bring the BIG container of legos in from storage.  So instead of just two somewhat large containers we bought at Christmas time, we also have one giant rubbermaid tub that has been sitting in the living room for quite some time.  It’s currently off limits.  Because Mom is tired of stepping on legos.  And Mom is mean.

Whoever put this up must be a parent with at least two young children.

Whoever put this up must be a parent with at least two young children.

Yep that’s right.  Currently I play the role of the bad guy because I’m constantly threatening to donate the legos lying about in the play room to a child who will take care of them and because I won’t run out and buy them a copy of The LEGO Movie.

Why haven’t I bought the LEGO movie?  Do I really want to hear “Everything is Awesome” 12000 times a day?  It’s already bad enough that I hear “Where’s my pants?” constantly.  I’m sure I’ll break down eventually-maybe when school has started and we aren’t together 24/7.

My solution to the LEGO problem naturally  would be  a big vacuum  tube.  Simply put it in the center of the room and all the bricks would be sucked up, kind of like that thing on the sand crawler on Star Wars.  You know, the one that sucks up R2D2?  Wouldn’t that horrible?  Not permanently, of course, just sucked back into their big old container.  Or to just take all the legos and make one big long road with them.  Instead of telling people to follow the yellow brick road, it would be to follow the lego brick road!  Sorry kids, you can’t use those bricks, it’s part of my road so people can find stuff.

Thank you for joining me for my little rant.  Now I want to hear from you.  Do your children possess a toy that you both love and hate? Is there something that your kids simply will not pick up no matter what you threaten?  I’d love to know that I’m not alone.

http://bakinginatornado.com                                Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                      Stacy Sews and Schools

http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com/                              Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/         Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://dates2diapers2.blogspot.com                        Dates 2 Diapers 2

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com/                  The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

http://themomisodes.com                                    The Momisodes

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                   Someone Else’s Genius

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                 Follow me home . . .

http://www.crumpetsandbollocks.com             Crumpets and Bollocks